Seeing things more clearly.....

From a distance.

Someone said to me recently, you wait, once the 10 in 10 starts this year and a new bunch of people are doing it you will feel differently about it all.

I thought he was talking bollocks like normal but no, annoyingly he was right :-D

I didn't think I was going to follow this years group, I felt very ambivalent about the whole thing (I'll tell you a secret now, I have always felt guilty about it for not trying hard enough) but then seemingly couldn't help but to start reading the blogs.

I'm so glad I did. Finally I appreciate how hard it was and how much it takes out of you. I wasn't taking it easy, I was doing what I had to to get through. I was lucky in that I didn't get any major injuries like some people do, the ones that make you limp round in 8 hours but I got the cumulative niggles, the ones that made me stand at the top of the hill at mile 15/16? Thinking, this is a downhill, it really isn't fair that it's going to hurt so much going down it :-D I got the tiredness, the bone crushing weariness that had me in tears one morning in bed because I didn't think I could get out of it.

I also had 'life in the Brathay bubble' the support from your fellow runners and their families, the online support and the brilliant moments where your own supporters turn up and you relalise how lucky you are.

The realisation that it's not just yourself that you want to finish but everybody else who started the journey with you.

So yeah, thanks to the 2012 team, I I now appreciate it so much more:-) and I will be following til the end and taking as much pleasure in them finishing as I did when we did.

Before I fall to pieces......

Do you like Razorlight? I do. Love em. People say Johnny is too arrogant. Nothing wrong with a bit of swagger. Golden Touch is my fave.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. Falling to pieces. Only slowly, but since April last year a definite decline.

VLM last year was 3.52.... I think that was the last race I did I was happy with.

That's in terms of performance, I was absofuckinglutely delighted to complete the 10 in 10, but let's be honest that was fun running there were no times being chased. I was also really happy to complete the 2 50 milers and I know I have more ultras in me but it was just complete. (I've just remembered the JW, yeah I was happy with that, but seriously I should be able to run it at 9mm)

Anyway, what's my point? Well, it's all very well being unhappy with my running and blaming this that and the other but that's not going to change anything. I'm the only one who can change it. So I will.

I need to go back to the start. I am taking advice. I need to work on flexibility (I have zero) and strength (um, I'm hoping I have a little of that) core strength (I do have some muscles under the fat bit but I don't know what they do) and running technique.

I need to cut my running right back ( which actually will mean minus miles if you see what I have done lately) and learn how to run properly.

I do know how to run, but only slowly for a long time and I need something different :)

I'm looking forward to it.

And apparently I do a good plank. I've always known that :-D

Now I'm supposed to be seeing a guy at virgin active gym tomorrow to look round, I need to think of an excuse because tbh I don't need to join a gym but I am so rubbish when sales people pressure me I will end up in a 5 yr contract. You have no idea of the difficulty I had cancelling a 3 contract that I had no way of even using cos I didn't have a 3 compatible phone!!!!

Um, yeah, that's it. There will be no events to blog for a while so I hope the training is interesting :-D