Sometimes you actually have to stop faffing and do the bloody experiment....

Last Friday I noticed  that Foxy was running one of his Enigma Festivals this week. He was saying he had places left and was anyone interested.

Yeah right! I though, as if I want to do a marathon. Everyone knows I have pretty much given that up!

But all day, a voice kept nagging at me ‘you could do it you know…..’

‘but I haven’t trained’

‘and?’

‘and you need to train to do a sodding marathon’

‘not really, you just have to be prepared to hurt…..are you prepared or are you just a bit rubbish?’

‘ok then. Be rubbish’

‘I bloody hate you’

‘yeah I know, when you going to enter?’

 ‘I will give Foxy notice today and then if I have a decent run to and from parkrun tomorrow I will do it. Ok?’

‘yeah, I’m excited, don’t tell anyone it can be our secret’

‘twat!’

See what I bloody have to put up with.

So Saturday I ran to Harrow Lodge parkrun, did it and ran home. Total of about 11.5 miles and yeah I enjoyed it and felt good.

Fmailed Foxy, booked tickets. Told no one.

Saturday night we went out for anniversary dinner. To our local restaurant. Mr actually had to get up and go and have a look at the wines to help the waiter choose the right one. Then we he bought the bottle to our table it was a different one! However it was one we would have chosen had we known they had it :-D

Anyway I had a good drink because I knew I had said no to xc. That wasn’t because of the mara, it was because I needed to do some work and I wanted a lie in first. Am I lazy?

Anyway, had lie in which was nice, then Chris went off to football with his friends. I spent the next few hours talking to myself going through my talk. I was sick of it by the time he got home!, I was also watching BBC News 24, apparently we were due a massive storm and the world was going to end in the early hours of Monday morning.

Oh well, if that happened I wouldn’t be running, would I!

The world only partly ended really. The south couldn’t get to work so it was actually a global disaster, I wont say any more though cos people died and it was a proper weather thing. 

My talk was cancelled which was just as well as I got to work an hour after it would have started. Never mind, another time, I had other stuff to do.

I was a little concerned though as there was so much disruption on the trains I wondered if it would be ok by tomorrow? No way to know. I went to bed early as if I would be getting up at 5.30 am anyway.

Mr had gone by that time (see, I could go anywhere and pretend I went to work) and the trains appeared fine! Bingo!

Got on the 10 past 8 from Euston to Bangor. First stop MK. As fate would have it, the 2 blokes sitting next to me were also going to do the mara (I heard them talking about someone I knew and butted in!) so I got a taxi with them from the station.

When you think about it, it’s prob best I didn’t tell Mr H what I was doing, not sure he’d  be that impressed with me introducing myself to strange men on the train :-D

Arrived at venue with 30 minutes to spare. 2 ladies toilets for 5 ladies……bliss!

Does that sound like we all jumped in together and er…..well anyway it’s not supposed to.

Said hi and gave Foxy a hug, realised I knew only 2 other people here, Ruth and Travis. I really have been out of it a while. There was a time when I would know every one of the people at an Enigma race.

Still, this actually pleased me as I wanted to be anonymous. After all I wasn’t really there. (I do have an ICE tag on my keys in case I cark it whilst on a secret mission) 

No fuss and we are off at 9.30, 7 laps of about 3.75 miles each. This race doesn’t really start til you’ve done 5 laps. That’s what I told myself. Because it’s true.

I spent the first lap ensuring I knew where I was going. The route was marked by flour and tape, and the men in front of me :-D but on a mara like this it is so easy to end up alone that I really concentrated. So when I saw the zig zags for the first time I knew it was about 1.3 miles into the lap. I ran up them thinking that perhaps later I would allow myself a little walk there. For now though I felt good and it was a lovely course and the weather was fab, sunny and bright but not too warm. Most of the lap is pretty quiet walkers and dogwalkers excepted. The end 500m or so runs alongside the go ape thing the  gym and the hotel pub then the café so a bit more lively here. Passed the cp for the first lap, no thanks don’t need water or anything I’m fine.

The next 2 laps were fine too I felt good and smiled my way round. Had a gel at end of lap 2 as planned. Mild stomach discomfort after but that always happens. Lap 4 I suffered with my back low down and begged some ibuprofen gel off someone at the cp. Probably psychological but that did seem to help.

I had run all the zig zags so far and decided that on the last 2 laps I would walk them.

Lap 5 was a bit more mentally tough than the others because of my back at the start and because it contains mile 16 which is always my nemesis but actually I was ok. I kept thinking, after this one you only have 7.5 miles to run. Piece of piss!

Lap six had a bit of a bad moment in it. My foot went on the floor and it seriously felt like I had broken something in the arch. I slowed and by changing my gait a little I could get round it, but every now and then I would put it down wrong and die a bit:-D (it is still very sore )

But you do know, there was no way I was stopping now. No fucking way.

Gel at the end of lap 6 and I was on the glory one :-) the one where you say good bye to all the things you are now getting heartily sick of! And you know I never walked the zig zags. I did this marathon to make me happy and that actually meant running it all and doing the best I could (I even tapered for 2 days).

I hadn’t really been looking at my watch because I knew I was running to the best of my ability and also because I couldn’t work out how to see elapsed time on it ……………. I’m a cock sometimes ;) anyway when I finally did I realised I had been running for 3.41 and I had 2 miles to go.

LEG IT!!!!!!

As much as my now very tired and a bit broken body could I did. And finished in 3.56.47. First lady too, but there were only 5. I lapped 3 :-)

 

I was bloody ecstatic with that. I started not knowing if I could finish…….well yes I could have walked it but you know what I mean. I asked myself a question as if you have read my blogs before you will know I like doing and the answer this time was a big yes.

I CAN!

I did ring Mr H from the station and told him all about it. He was a bit bemused I think, but he’s had 25 years to get used to me he knows I will do things in my own way. Or have a strop.

That might be all for now.

I can't explain but I wanna try...

There's this image of you and I and it goes dancing by in the morning, and in the night time...

I like that. 22 years eh. I remember having a heart to heart with one of my best friends when I was properly messed up and predicting we wouldn't last 5. Getting to 9 was a challenge. Then I think I grew up. Fucking finally!

Well, grew up is a relative term. What I really mean is stopped trying to destroy everything I had cos I didn't think I deserved it. But that comes with age doesn't it. An acceptance of who you are, a learning to live with yourself. It's not always that easy! 

I know who I am now. I know I won't change. I can live with that.

Aaaaannnnnnyyyywwaaayyyy.......

Training wise last week was pretty shit, well, I didn't do any, that's shit isn't it! I just wasn't well, whatever got me at the weekend wiped me out. I limped through work doing only what I had to. Turned out what I thought it was, it wasn't, so I'm actually still going to GP later. Purely to rule some stuff out. That's wise I think. (Well someone at work had a bit of a go at me and made me)

That's fine though, I'm working at home today got a talk to do next Monday and I need to read some paper for a course. I can do all that here.

I did do one thing last week though, on Saturday I travelled up to the Midlands to do the Reaper race. A 10k obstacle course. 

I was picked up from the airport train station by Mark and Lesley who were also doing it. I will admit that I was very apprehensive ....not the race that doesn't scare me, but whether my stomach was going to do what it did the week before. So when I got in the car I *may* have appeared a bit grumpy. I was!

Anyway, got to the place some conference centre place where I can imagine team building exercises happen with lots of corporates. When I worked in the bank these courses were basically drinking festivals. Because there was no way you could stand all the stupid shit they made you do without getting blitzed every night. Srsly.

Anyway, seemed like a nice friendly get up, but not all that busy really.....shame I think cos it was awesome, but let me tell you.....

Started in a field and ran towards a lake edge. The course is like fenced off so you have only one way to run. It goes in the water so you are running shin deep through it, which was ok but so cold it made my bones ache. Christ I though, I don't fancy getting in this.....

So the first real obstacle is wooden rafts across the water, 5 or 6 in a row with gaps in between. The idea being you jump off the dock onto the first one, then jump across to the next etc. this all occurs in twos as there is room for two on each raft. We are all queuing waiting for our go.

It was hilarious as you can imagine, though my personal favourite bit was Mark and his male partner leaping onto the first raft (I think) whilst the couple on front were still on it. Of course they all fall off in the water. Class!

Me and my raft partner made it to 3 I think before the gaps became too large. You then decided you are better off just accepting it and leaping in and climbing onto the raft :)

Then a run through the lake edge again up to the grass.

The next bit was fields running switchbacks up and down, with a couple of banks you have to help each other up. Then off into the woods. The woods were great, loads of mud and water, fence things to climb over and sometimes things to go under like logs or nets. I think the hardest obstacle was the one where you had hang on to the rope feet on steep slope wood thing and pull yourself up to top and over. The pulling/walking up bit was ok but then letting go to grasp the top was hard!  I slipped back down once but made it second time.

There was another like that but it had some step things which made it loads easier.

The last section was really mainly deep puddles with logs to go over and under, just to make sure you were as muddy and wet as could be for the end.....ace fun!

Well, we finished as a team, I think Lesley conquered some stuff and Mark was brilliant at making sure we all stayed together, and if there was a prize for best looking topless guy would have won it *

Managed to get a shower after which was good and then was dropped at station for my return journey. Got home exhausted but having had a really good day :)

Yesterday was body balance. I'm not sure if you can possibly be less flexible than I normally am. But I was.

Next week is xc.

* he was the only one.

Do you mind....

If I don't stand up?

My stomach is not doing standing right now. Thanks.

I meant to blog last Sunday. Don't know why I didn't, probably CBA, been a bit like that lately haven't I.

I did go to Southend last week. I stood on the startline and all I felt was dread. That's not right is it? I get excited by races, I don't dread them!

Anyway, gun went off, I started and immediately knew I wouldn't finish. It was that simple.

I knew we would pass a pub before 1k where Mr H was. I would see him, pull out, job done :-D

I didn't see him. So I kept going. 2k clicked by 4.15s. Good pace. But I didn't want to spend another 8k chasing that. I honestly can't explain it I just didn't. So just after that I did see him. He cheered and clapped and then looked really confused as I ran towards him, threw my cap on the floor sat on the pub chair, put my head on the table and cried. 

I am so glad I'm not married to me.

I sat there for a minute or so wondering what I was going to do. I had after all persuaded Mr H to drive me there, and it isn't that close. I felt like a proper heel.

Then I saw Ron, he is a v60 from my club who can still run a lot faster than me. He was obviously struggling and I remembered he has been having problems with his sciatic nerve. Bloody hell AJ, if he is going to finish then you bloody well can too. So I rejoined the race and ran it with him. Nice and relaxed chatting all the way. Turns out we helped each other, and sometimes that is what it is all about.

So I told Russ what a fuck up I had made and he suggested I run as I like all week and then talk to him at the weekend. Okdk, fair enough.

I basically ran twice, that was all I wanted to do and never made it to any track sessions, I felt tired and listless, and also this week was boss week at work, I need to make sure everything is in order.

Friday night I would normally go out for a couple of drinks with my mate, but I found myself leaving work early shouting him that I felt like crap and was going home. This was true though I couldn't tell you what was wrong.

Had an early night and having pulled out of going to Bushey cos I couldn't face it I decided to go with Mr H to Barking. One of the reasons was that I know he had been wondering what was wrong with me so I wanted to have a happy run for him (and me) I don't like making him worry about me, I've done far too much of that in the past :-/

So got there and noticed a fair few younger runners. Found out it was an away day from Harrow Lodge and they were from Havering Mayesbrook which is one of the better clubs round here, well in terms of quick runners. I pointed out 2 JW15-19 girls to Mr H and told him they would be first two ladies. That was fine with me. Pressure right off just run my own race.

I did, and I enjoyed it! 21.32 a time I was happy with, and I was right about the girls :) the first one broke the course record with an 18.56. Wow!

Anyway, stayed for coffee after whilst Mr H got a bit of training on the computer stuff, then home and change before he took me to body balance which I once again enjoyed.

Then home for a sleep. I wanted about 3 hours but I think I got an hour. Woken by a persistent headache, which wouldn't have mattered normally but I had agreed to run 10 miles in a marathon relay team and the race was in Southend and starting at midnight!

I blame twitter.

Never mind I was expected I had to go! Had a pasta meal at 8 o'clock then relaxed until 10 when Mr drove me to Upminster station where I would meet some strangers from the internet :-D not the first time he has driven me to meet strangers but it's not normally that late at night :)

And when I say drive me there, he actually got us lost, he said he was going the long way round which is actually manspeak for ' I haven't got a fucking clue where I am but I'm not going to admit that to you'

We made it eventually. I introduced myself and him to Andy and Emma and we set of for Havens Hospice in Southend (no I don't think it's the end for me yet, that's just where the race was)

This race is the Midnite marathon set up to raise funds for the hospice by Ian who seems like a very nice chap :) this was the first year and I think there had been some problems with publicity so there were not many there, but I'll tell you what, you couldn't ask to be looked after better. On arrival we signed in and got a t shirt and a goody bag of sweets and drinks. Someone made us a hot drink too! Awesome.

Chatted to people for a bit mainly Emma really as I didn't know anyone but that was fine. Got introduced to 2 other people in our team....Malcolm and Lee. I was doing the first 10, then Malcolm and Lee would do 6 each then Emma would do the last 4 as she is still recovering from surgery for appendicitis which all sounded a bit complicated and dramatic :-/

Few pictures before the off....

And away I and about 10 others were off. 

I had no idea of the route but I didn't need to. Bikers preceded and followed us. When ever there was a turn a cyclist would be there. Sorted!

First mile I was getting used to the poor light, though a head torch wasn't necessary, I found my pace and settled in. I had said I would be 90 minutes.

By mile 2 I knew something was amiss. I was running fine, there was nothing wrong with that. But I was feeling incredibly nauseous . I couldn't work out why. I decided that it was because I hadn't digested my main meal properly, after all I'm not used to running after it. Still I couldn't give up I was in a team.

By 5 miles my stomach was beginning to hurt, and I was thinking I needed the loo. Still feeling sick.

At about six a group of blokes including the organiser caught me up as I pondered the route (I had been told where to go but I can still do it wrong, oh yes!) I told him I really needed the loo. That's fine he said, at 7 miles the Marshall point was outside someone's front door. Ace.

Stopped there and was able to use the facilities. Brilliant I thought, I will be fine now.

But I wasn't. Within half a mile of leaving I was wondering where to throw up and or, well...let's not go there. I just had to keep running as I couldn't see anyone in front or behind me now. Still only about 2 to go. Head down get on with it. I thought maybe a late night pub, but the one I passed there were loads of people all shouting and milling about outside and I just couldn't face going in. Well I wasn't really dressed for it!i did get a few claps as I passed :-D

Eventually I came to a park, and yes! There was a sign on it saying Chalkwell Park, somewhere here was relay runner number 2. And he was, about 500m down the road. Along with a driver to take me back to base. Perfect!

When I got back I was immediately offered a bacon sandwich. I told you they were good.

I couldn't. Cup of tea though, that's ok. Sat and chatted to Emma for a while as she was still waiting til her turn to go. Was very pleasant but I was aware of my stomach becoming more and more painful. When she left I chatted to two Havens coordinaters, which was really interesting listening to the events they put on, some of which I have done. I had to excuse myself rather abruptly at one point though. And pretty much from then on til I left I was up and down like a flipping jack in the box as my stomach turned against me. One of our relay team had offered me a lift to Benfleet station for the first train at 5.55. The journey to barking would take an hour. I started to view this prospect with horror. I was already in the loo every 2 minutes and knew I was going to be sick at some point. I didn't really want to do it on the C2C train :-/

Luckily Emma and Andy were superstars and seeing how unwell I was becoming offered to drive me all the way home. I was sooooo grateful. Everyone was so nice.

I got in about 6am and then basically camped out in the loo, sweating shivering and being sick for a few hours.

I did wake Mr H at half 8 when I was having a lull so that he could at least have a wee :-D

Spent most of the rest of the day doubled up in bed waiting til I could keep some painkillers down. I did in the end, and got some sleep.....ahhhh thank god for that!

I stayed off work today cos I'm still in pain, but I have managed to eat some toast and some breaded fish.....that's grown up fish fingers (and tomato sauce, which is actually prescribed to me by my doctor, FACT) and so far it has all remained where it should be.

I'm not training this week. I need my body to feel better and I want to be fit for the Reaper on Saturday :)))

That wasn't graphic or owt was it? And you know I would very much recommend that race ( I wanted to say something else but I can't spell it, how strange!) and hope to go back next year and do the whole thing. I *might* be looking forward to long distance again.

Anyway, that's all.

Don't know if I should.....

Tell you what I found,

Has it gone for good?

Or is it coming back around?

I don't know. 

Well I've had a funny week. I didn't blog last week because I was fed up. The last Elvis race didn't go to plan. I could rehash it here but there is no point. I just didn't have it. End result was 22.04. Running over 22 on a flat course is not what I expect of myself. 

So started the week really flat, and didn't really improve mood wise. It goes like that doesn't it. Work was ok though. I appear to have managed to improve an assay dramatically, to the point where it may actually be useful :-D and also come to understand better some other work I'm doing, sometimes it does feel like an endless learning curve :-/ then again when the careers master at school asked what I wanted from a career when I was 13 I said ' I want a job where I will always be learning' I was a horrible little swot then. I told him I wanted to be a medical doctor. His answer was something along the lines of 'yeah right, I know where you come from' tosser!

Ooh I'm on teachers now, when I was 15 (different school, different life) Miss Todd brought a broadsheet into the English lesson. She announced to us that we probably wouldn't know what it was because our parents would all read the gutter press because we didn't come from class.

Patronising bitch! I decided to add her lesson to the list of ones I would bunk. I was delighted one day when she stopped me in the corridor to tell me that she was sorry I hadn't been in her lesson because she had read out my essay on Romeo and Juliet because it was so good. I was sucking a gob stopper at the time. ' oh, ' she said. 'You must have been at the dentist, that looks sore' I nodded.

Ha ha ha! She was fucking furious when she found out I was just skipping her class and banned me from them. Unfortunately I had to properly beg to be let back in, but English was one of those things you needed :-D so I took the hit. I can beg when I have to. I actually loved English Lit. Finding out what the words you were reading really meant was like a gift. Wow, Shakepeare said that!!! And some of it was really rude! *giggle* I preferred Dickens, and will never ever forget the bit where Bill Sykes killed Nancy. It also made me read Graham Green, we did The Human Factor and every now and again I decide to read another. I'm never disappointed.

Anyway yeah where was I. Training was light this week after the weekends strop. That's ok. I've felt pretty CBA, this too shall pass :)

Was supposed to go to the Elvis party last night. Went for a curry with Mr H instead which was good for me. I lasted half an hour at last years party, it's not actually that I am the worlds most unsociable cow, um, well, actually it is! Sorry and all that. Running is my hobby, I like going out too, but I rarely mix things :-D

Today I went to a body balance class. Loved it. It was bloody hard but I'm going to try to go regularly because lots of the moves were things that Russ has shown me and it's easier to do it in a class than on your own.

Southend 10k tomorrow. Not sure why. Got a lift from Mr H so if it all goes tits up he can deal with the crying. Fingers crossed eh?