She's got enough she's got too much.......
I had a dream about school this week, I woke up thinking about an incident that happened just after I started senior school.
I was sitting in the canteen alone having lunch. I did have friends but they were outside because if you paid for your own lunch you could get takeaway, if you had free meals you couldn't. I wasn't best pleased by this, in fact I was in a pretty foul mood. I was sitting there thinking about how I could run away from home. It was right in the middle of the really horrible time with my stepmum and she was making it clear that I wouldn't be missed.
A girl who was in my year but in the other stream (half of the year did French, half did German) skipped up to me looking fit to burst.
She said ' are you Mandy brilliant Buck?'..............after I'd stopped choking I nodded. (My middle name is Jane but the rest was right)
'Wow, ' she said 'you're good at EVERYTHING and Mrs Manly told us we should try to be like you'
Blimey. It showed me that you could be different things in different places. At home I was a useless idiot with no common sense, at school well I could be whoever I wanted, and, people might even want to be me. That made me happy, and I enjoyed every single day I spent at that school, and made me realise that I had to accept the things I couldn't control, but throw myself wholeheartedly into the things I could, and it would all balance out.
And it did, and I still work on those principles though I do have to remind myself sometimes. I know I can be in control (mostly) of how well I run. I just need to throw myself into it properly. I can't be half hearted about it.
So this week, I did 2 bootcamps, I am loving these! And the core work I am sure will be invaluable. I did a 5 mile easy. I did 10 yesterday which on the plan said 1wu 8 hmp 1 cd. So I did 5 before parkrun, then parkrun (22.26) then made up the remainder.
Today I did 12 with 10 at mp and it went good :)
Next week has an 18 mile mp. I may need to do this on Saturday incorporatin parkrun and the chingford league 5 miler as I have xc on Sunday before I rush off to Cambridge for. 1pm registration at a conference.
I will be late, no getting round that, there is a pool at the hotel :))))
(I never did run away. Rest assured if I had, I would've gone in a big circle and ended up at home again, wondering why things looked so familiar)
Sunday 27 January 2013
Sunday 20 January 2013
Give me just a smile and would you make it snappy......
Get your shit together girl.....
That's me this week. Started the week feeling unaccountably low. Well maybe not unaccountably, I am female after all :-)
However it got better and I booked Friday off as a me day......good idea really given the weather and the fact that since Mr H went up to his mums on Wednesday, I needed to get out and shop and stuff and its much nicer on a weekday.
Excerise......I saw Russ on Monday, lots of drill stuff and stretching, ran there and back. Tuesday was bootcamp, enjoyed it, lots of boxing stuff. Weds I had off due to upper body weakness......ie I used it a little bit and boy am I not used to that.
Thursday was mile reps round Russell Square, nailed them.
Friday I planned to do longer reps at home, but basically the sky started dumping snow, I went out but wasn't feeling it at all and stopped at 5k. No biggie I'd make it up at parkrun on Saturday.
Which was cancelled.
Went out and did a progressive run round Goodmayes park. Started at 9.20 ended on 8.20. In the snow. I'll take that. 7 miles.
Today was Benfleet 15. Got a late place off my friend Vicki, and waited to see if it would be cancelled like many other races today but no, it was on :)
Running club mate gave me a lift, which got interesting the nearer we got due to now quite heavy snow. Left the car at a jaunty angle and had a cup of tea before we we ordered to hurry up and get to the start, which was about 15 minutes walk....oops.
Slid to the start and lined up, facing uphill and without a lot of fuss we were off. Basically the first part of the race is all xc and so lots of up and down and today frozen mud covered by snow. Not easy to negotiate but if it was easy we wouldn't do it would we :) so around 5 miles of ups and downs slipping and sliding. Murder on the glutes and back.
Water station at 5 and I'm a bit fed up tbh, just cos my lower back is singing and I'm thinking 'fuck, only another 10 miles'. Really hardcore ain't I?
Then a woman who has been running around my pace for a while starts to talk to me. I'm not really in the mood tbh, and she has headphones on so can't hear my answers anyway. I'm thinking she's a bit stupid really and when I tell her I don't like the way the muddy paths are rutted, she say 'rutted?' I say ' yeah you know, has ruts in it where the mud has been churned up then frozen' ...........'oh' she says, ' I don't belong to a running club so I don't know what these technical terms mean, I'm running this on my own you know' ..........'er yeah' I say and make a proper effort to lose her because if she's this stupid I'm going to end up pushing her over.
Of course I do lose her :-)
From around 5.5 on its pretty flat for a long way but very monotonous as you can see people running for literally miles in front of you. It's also quite exposed so I get cold here and when I see our club supporters I tell them this, to which they reply they are bloody freezing......fair point! Well made too!
At 9 miles you start to see the quick boys come back past you as you run along the sea wall at canvey. Although I have done this race twice before we all know I have a goldfish memory and don't remember that it is 2 miles to the turn around. Fuck me that's a long 2 miles, all the time seeing people come back the other way and longing to be them (just be a bit sodding quicker then AJ!)
You do eventually get there, to the turn around and the best Marshall ever screaming and waving her Pom poms (no!) so then 2 miles back to the bridge and onto the road for about half a mile before you are back into the country park for a last couple of miles of xc, and the most bastard hill ever to finish. One of them ones where you get to the top thinking that that's it you are going to vomit or have a heart attack or both, and you turn left and it goes up again, only a little ridge to crest but boy is it evil.
You then run down to the finish, looking like death :-D
Conveniently my lift finished a couple of places behind me, I reckon he really took it easy cos he normally beats me, but it meant we were both ready to leave at the same time which was good as it was still snoring and bloody freezing. Not snoring, SNOWING!
Anyway 2.21 something and a proper hard training run. Quickest on that course by 5 mins in the worst conditions. I can't argue. I'm still too tired and it's Monday night now!
That's me this week. Started the week feeling unaccountably low. Well maybe not unaccountably, I am female after all :-)
However it got better and I booked Friday off as a me day......good idea really given the weather and the fact that since Mr H went up to his mums on Wednesday, I needed to get out and shop and stuff and its much nicer on a weekday.
Excerise......I saw Russ on Monday, lots of drill stuff and stretching, ran there and back. Tuesday was bootcamp, enjoyed it, lots of boxing stuff. Weds I had off due to upper body weakness......ie I used it a little bit and boy am I not used to that.
Thursday was mile reps round Russell Square, nailed them.
Friday I planned to do longer reps at home, but basically the sky started dumping snow, I went out but wasn't feeling it at all and stopped at 5k. No biggie I'd make it up at parkrun on Saturday.
Which was cancelled.
Went out and did a progressive run round Goodmayes park. Started at 9.20 ended on 8.20. In the snow. I'll take that. 7 miles.
Today was Benfleet 15. Got a late place off my friend Vicki, and waited to see if it would be cancelled like many other races today but no, it was on :)
Running club mate gave me a lift, which got interesting the nearer we got due to now quite heavy snow. Left the car at a jaunty angle and had a cup of tea before we we ordered to hurry up and get to the start, which was about 15 minutes walk....oops.
Slid to the start and lined up, facing uphill and without a lot of fuss we were off. Basically the first part of the race is all xc and so lots of up and down and today frozen mud covered by snow. Not easy to negotiate but if it was easy we wouldn't do it would we :) so around 5 miles of ups and downs slipping and sliding. Murder on the glutes and back.
Water station at 5 and I'm a bit fed up tbh, just cos my lower back is singing and I'm thinking 'fuck, only another 10 miles'. Really hardcore ain't I?
Then a woman who has been running around my pace for a while starts to talk to me. I'm not really in the mood tbh, and she has headphones on so can't hear my answers anyway. I'm thinking she's a bit stupid really and when I tell her I don't like the way the muddy paths are rutted, she say 'rutted?' I say ' yeah you know, has ruts in it where the mud has been churned up then frozen' ...........'oh' she says, ' I don't belong to a running club so I don't know what these technical terms mean, I'm running this on my own you know' ..........'er yeah' I say and make a proper effort to lose her because if she's this stupid I'm going to end up pushing her over.
Of course I do lose her :-)
From around 5.5 on its pretty flat for a long way but very monotonous as you can see people running for literally miles in front of you. It's also quite exposed so I get cold here and when I see our club supporters I tell them this, to which they reply they are bloody freezing......fair point! Well made too!
At 9 miles you start to see the quick boys come back past you as you run along the sea wall at canvey. Although I have done this race twice before we all know I have a goldfish memory and don't remember that it is 2 miles to the turn around. Fuck me that's a long 2 miles, all the time seeing people come back the other way and longing to be them (just be a bit sodding quicker then AJ!)
You do eventually get there, to the turn around and the best Marshall ever screaming and waving her Pom poms (no!) so then 2 miles back to the bridge and onto the road for about half a mile before you are back into the country park for a last couple of miles of xc, and the most bastard hill ever to finish. One of them ones where you get to the top thinking that that's it you are going to vomit or have a heart attack or both, and you turn left and it goes up again, only a little ridge to crest but boy is it evil.
You then run down to the finish, looking like death :-D
Conveniently my lift finished a couple of places behind me, I reckon he really took it easy cos he normally beats me, but it meant we were both ready to leave at the same time which was good as it was still snoring and bloody freezing. Not snoring, SNOWING!
Anyway 2.21 something and a proper hard training run. Quickest on that course by 5 mins in the worst conditions. I can't argue. I'm still too tired and it's Monday night now!
Monday 14 January 2013
4 and 20 million doors.....
On life's endless corridors......
REALLY? Who counted them? And how do we know its accurate? That's a big number to keep in your head, or you'd need a big wall to tally that on.
Anyway, one door that opened to me recently was my new job. I've been there 6 weeks, and it's been, um, ok. Yes it's the job I wanted, but I'm still trying to make it fit. A conversation with the Prof who is my line manager on Friday made it feel better, but also made me realise that I have in effect 3 bosses. Which could be ok. Could be a disaster.
I still don't have a contract, and was paid by the wrong people last month. On a positive I should end up with more money, on a negative there will be some messing around paying things back and sorting out. Oh well. Today it is the inaugural symposium for the WT Biomarker project, in effect launching the project I'm on. I don't have to speak because I'm very new to it, but it will let people know we are here and so potentially things could get pretty busy from hereon in. That's ok. I like busy, I need to know I am contributing. I may have to forgo jeans and jumper for something a bit smarter.......*ponders wardrobe*
Okdk that's work done, now the only other thing I do :-D Running.
Aha!!!! It's not! I did a bootcamp class last week......well I say bootcamp, it was circuits, but that ok I loved it. I've booked a block of 10 sessions as the exercises in it are all of the kind that I have in my plan for strength and conditioning anyway and doing those exercises in a group is much more fun.
Really running now. I did the first Harrow Lodge parkrun on Saturday. It's a 4.2 mile run there, which incidentally I have decided is too long for a warm up, and then a one lap course mainly on grass and trails with about 200m Tarmac. Very different to my usual. This week it was in effect xc it was so waterlogged. 120 people lined up and looking around I saw my competition. First there was Caroline the best vet lady at my club who has been injured with PF for ages (and sub 3.15 mara runner, who can do a 20. Something 5k) but who is making a comeback, Nat, the tri sport girl who beat me NYD, and a young Havering Mayesbrook girl who is doing a professional looking warmup.
We start and immediately Nat goes away from me. I get into my stride and after about 600m I overtake her, I know she's not running her best but I not giving anything away! After about 2k I hear female breathing behind me and am not too surprised that Caroline overtakes me but I try hard to stay with her. I realise that Havering girl is in front of us both, and that one of my laces has come undone. I can't stop to do it up this is a 5k!!! Anyway if I fall it's only into mud. That won't hurt.
Keep plugging away then. Me and C are catching Havering girl and sure enough with about a k to go I overtake her, still chasing C. Turning the last corner the marshal urges me to catch her but the finish about 300m away is uphill on grass, and try as I might I can't make any headway so I finish 2nd lady, 10 s behind C but not unhappy with that. Tbh I am happy she is started to come back as it takes the pressure off me a bit but also gives me something to aim at.
Yesterday was xc at Thorndon Park. I am really enjoying this league, plenty of people to pit myself against and a 4.6 mile distance that is not too taxing. That's not to say its easy, oh no this course had pretty much everything. Hills, swampy grass, sucky mud, stiles and killer tree roots! So much variety I loved it and consequently ran really well for me coming 14th lady overall my best performance this season. I was aware of some toe pain during the race and thought it was because my feet were so cold, but I think a previously damaged toe took a bit of a beating on the downs because it has kept waking me up all night when I move. Today I wish I had bought those uggs I saw the other day so my foot could live in a sheep today :-D
I now have an image of me walking around with my foot up a sheeps bum. That's wrong isn't it? I think I have sleep deprivation. That'll be it.
Next week I have Benfleet 15, which is basically a 15mile xc. I am booking a surgeon for the end to do the foot amputation that will most definitely be required.
REALLY? Who counted them? And how do we know its accurate? That's a big number to keep in your head, or you'd need a big wall to tally that on.
Anyway, one door that opened to me recently was my new job. I've been there 6 weeks, and it's been, um, ok. Yes it's the job I wanted, but I'm still trying to make it fit. A conversation with the Prof who is my line manager on Friday made it feel better, but also made me realise that I have in effect 3 bosses. Which could be ok. Could be a disaster.
I still don't have a contract, and was paid by the wrong people last month. On a positive I should end up with more money, on a negative there will be some messing around paying things back and sorting out. Oh well. Today it is the inaugural symposium for the WT Biomarker project, in effect launching the project I'm on. I don't have to speak because I'm very new to it, but it will let people know we are here and so potentially things could get pretty busy from hereon in. That's ok. I like busy, I need to know I am contributing. I may have to forgo jeans and jumper for something a bit smarter.......*ponders wardrobe*
Okdk that's work done, now the only other thing I do :-D Running.
Aha!!!! It's not! I did a bootcamp class last week......well I say bootcamp, it was circuits, but that ok I loved it. I've booked a block of 10 sessions as the exercises in it are all of the kind that I have in my plan for strength and conditioning anyway and doing those exercises in a group is much more fun.
Really running now. I did the first Harrow Lodge parkrun on Saturday. It's a 4.2 mile run there, which incidentally I have decided is too long for a warm up, and then a one lap course mainly on grass and trails with about 200m Tarmac. Very different to my usual. This week it was in effect xc it was so waterlogged. 120 people lined up and looking around I saw my competition. First there was Caroline the best vet lady at my club who has been injured with PF for ages (and sub 3.15 mara runner, who can do a 20. Something 5k) but who is making a comeback, Nat, the tri sport girl who beat me NYD, and a young Havering Mayesbrook girl who is doing a professional looking warmup.
We start and immediately Nat goes away from me. I get into my stride and after about 600m I overtake her, I know she's not running her best but I not giving anything away! After about 2k I hear female breathing behind me and am not too surprised that Caroline overtakes me but I try hard to stay with her. I realise that Havering girl is in front of us both, and that one of my laces has come undone. I can't stop to do it up this is a 5k!!! Anyway if I fall it's only into mud. That won't hurt.
Keep plugging away then. Me and C are catching Havering girl and sure enough with about a k to go I overtake her, still chasing C. Turning the last corner the marshal urges me to catch her but the finish about 300m away is uphill on grass, and try as I might I can't make any headway so I finish 2nd lady, 10 s behind C but not unhappy with that. Tbh I am happy she is started to come back as it takes the pressure off me a bit but also gives me something to aim at.
Yesterday was xc at Thorndon Park. I am really enjoying this league, plenty of people to pit myself against and a 4.6 mile distance that is not too taxing. That's not to say its easy, oh no this course had pretty much everything. Hills, swampy grass, sucky mud, stiles and killer tree roots! So much variety I loved it and consequently ran really well for me coming 14th lady overall my best performance this season. I was aware of some toe pain during the race and thought it was because my feet were so cold, but I think a previously damaged toe took a bit of a beating on the downs because it has kept waking me up all night when I move. Today I wish I had bought those uggs I saw the other day so my foot could live in a sheep today :-D
I now have an image of me walking around with my foot up a sheeps bum. That's wrong isn't it? I think I have sleep deprivation. That'll be it.
Next week I have Benfleet 15, which is basically a 15mile xc. I am booking a surgeon for the end to do the foot amputation that will most definitely be required.
Sunday 6 January 2013
OMG! I must be mad......
Is it just me who wants to punch anyone who utters those words in the face? Really really hard.
Maybe it is. I do know I can be a bit hard about these things.
I also hate it when people tell me I must be mad. I have taken to replying to enquiries about my running with a shrug and a ' I don't really do that anymore'
AJ speak for 'I know you're only asking to be polite, but I don't really want to talk to you about it, your opinion on my running isn't wanted, needed or in anyway useful to me.'
Obviously I don't say this to people in my running community who know I run. That *would* be mad :-D and some of those people have advice that I respect and appreciate.
Anyway, enough of me being mardy I should tell you what I been doing.
Um.
.................... This is where I lost the rest of my post.........Grrrrrrrrr..............................
A number of parkruns on the trot.
Dec 22- 22-32
Dec 25 at Hull - 22.19 happy
Dec 29th - 22.30
Jan 1st at VP - 22.48 bah.
Jan 5th - 22.07 hello form!
I also did xc on 29th. A horrific mudfest at Orion. It was un runnable and I hated it. Went over once when I misjudged a ditch. Spent most of it swearing and straining my glutes and knees trying to stay upright. But I did it and we had one of only 2 full ladies teams out.
Yesterday, after parkrun was the Essex County xc champs at Hadleigh (miles away). I was a bit ambivalent about it, but I had put my name down and since the girls are flying the flag for the 88s at the moment I decided I should go.
Now, because my spikes didn't clean themselves, I decided I would have to use my pristine inov8s and hope for the best. When we got there I saw what a perfect spikes course it was. Teach me to be a lazy bint won't it!
Anyway, lined up mid pack.......girls at the front were in knickers and crop tops, first 5 qualify for the inter counties.....no danger of that from me. And we were off.
Straight down a big muddy hill. Jen hurled herself past me advising me to be careful at the bottom, no need, I'm crap at downhill, and actually it was quite ironic really as when I rounded the corner at the bottom I was confronted by Jen facedown in the mud :-D it wouldn't be a proper xc without Jen rolling around in the mud.
Anyway, got myself into a steady pace and started to target people, particularly a woman in the distance who always used to beat me at road races but that I have beaten lately. Find myself enjoying the course, it has enough ups and downs that it isn't a swamp, you can actually race it.
About 2.3 miles in you go up a proper hand on knees, Christ I'm going to be sick hill, which plateaus then rises again, and then you turn a corner and a guy tells you, 'you'll be starting the second lap in a minute ladies' oh JOY, I'm going to be running (!) up that fucker again :-D
Anyway, sometime on the second lap I pass my rival and spend the rest of the lap playing cat and mouse with a woman I know from tri sport. In the end she just has the better of me because her hill technique is better, ie she walks up them quicker than I run them, and then has more energy to get away from me on the flat. She tells me this at the end and we admit that we kept each other honest.
So I finish feeling I gave it a good shot, and wait at finish chute for rest of our ladies. Get bored go and get my clothes, go back, wait, get worried, start to walk back up the course and then see Jen turn the final corner. Shout ' come on Jen I'm freezing my tits off here!' Get glared at by a number of people, pretend I'm someone else :-D go back to finish chute to await the rest.
6 ladies finish safe, and then we cheer in our only male competitor.
A good day for the Dagenham 88 ladies xc team. I don't know the results but the fact we were there is enough. In my first year at dag 88 I WAS the ladies xc team :) we will get better, for now we just need to get people competing and enjoying it. That includes me. I'm better at road running but I know that xc does me good.
Next stop harrow lodge inaugural parkrun and Thorndon Sunday league xc.
This is a before pic, and an on my feet during pic.
Maybe it is. I do know I can be a bit hard about these things.
I also hate it when people tell me I must be mad. I have taken to replying to enquiries about my running with a shrug and a ' I don't really do that anymore'
AJ speak for 'I know you're only asking to be polite, but I don't really want to talk to you about it, your opinion on my running isn't wanted, needed or in anyway useful to me.'
Obviously I don't say this to people in my running community who know I run. That *would* be mad :-D and some of those people have advice that I respect and appreciate.
Anyway, enough of me being mardy I should tell you what I been doing.
Um.
.................... This is where I lost the rest of my post.........Grrrrrrrrr..............................
A number of parkruns on the trot.
Dec 22- 22-32
Dec 25 at Hull - 22.19 happy
Dec 29th - 22.30
Jan 1st at VP - 22.48 bah.
Jan 5th - 22.07 hello form!
I also did xc on 29th. A horrific mudfest at Orion. It was un runnable and I hated it. Went over once when I misjudged a ditch. Spent most of it swearing and straining my glutes and knees trying to stay upright. But I did it and we had one of only 2 full ladies teams out.
Yesterday, after parkrun was the Essex County xc champs at Hadleigh (miles away). I was a bit ambivalent about it, but I had put my name down and since the girls are flying the flag for the 88s at the moment I decided I should go.
Now, because my spikes didn't clean themselves, I decided I would have to use my pristine inov8s and hope for the best. When we got there I saw what a perfect spikes course it was. Teach me to be a lazy bint won't it!
Anyway, lined up mid pack.......girls at the front were in knickers and crop tops, first 5 qualify for the inter counties.....no danger of that from me. And we were off.
Straight down a big muddy hill. Jen hurled herself past me advising me to be careful at the bottom, no need, I'm crap at downhill, and actually it was quite ironic really as when I rounded the corner at the bottom I was confronted by Jen facedown in the mud :-D it wouldn't be a proper xc without Jen rolling around in the mud.
Anyway, got myself into a steady pace and started to target people, particularly a woman in the distance who always used to beat me at road races but that I have beaten lately. Find myself enjoying the course, it has enough ups and downs that it isn't a swamp, you can actually race it.
About 2.3 miles in you go up a proper hand on knees, Christ I'm going to be sick hill, which plateaus then rises again, and then you turn a corner and a guy tells you, 'you'll be starting the second lap in a minute ladies' oh JOY, I'm going to be running (!) up that fucker again :-D
Anyway, sometime on the second lap I pass my rival and spend the rest of the lap playing cat and mouse with a woman I know from tri sport. In the end she just has the better of me because her hill technique is better, ie she walks up them quicker than I run them, and then has more energy to get away from me on the flat. She tells me this at the end and we admit that we kept each other honest.
So I finish feeling I gave it a good shot, and wait at finish chute for rest of our ladies. Get bored go and get my clothes, go back, wait, get worried, start to walk back up the course and then see Jen turn the final corner. Shout ' come on Jen I'm freezing my tits off here!' Get glared at by a number of people, pretend I'm someone else :-D go back to finish chute to await the rest.
6 ladies finish safe, and then we cheer in our only male competitor.
A good day for the Dagenham 88 ladies xc team. I don't know the results but the fact we were there is enough. In my first year at dag 88 I WAS the ladies xc team :) we will get better, for now we just need to get people competing and enjoying it. That includes me. I'm better at road running but I know that xc does me good.
Next stop harrow lodge inaugural parkrun and Thorndon Sunday league xc.
This is a before pic, and an on my feet during pic.
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