But if you close your eyes.....

Does it almost feel like, nothing changed at all?

And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like,

You've been here before....

Well yes it does doesn't it.

This year I'm going to be...

Thinner,

Faster,

Nicer,

Kinder,

A better wife,

A better sister,

A healthier eater,

Drink less,

Give more to charity,

Be better at my job,

Blah, blah, blah.

No I'm not! I'm going to be the same. 

I'm just being realistic :)

2013 was ok. PBd at most distances. I can't be sorry about my sporting achievements last year. I enjoyed the tris that I did and did some obstacle races too. Saw my husband do his first park run which was cool.

Work was in turns really good and a bit frustrating. I did intend to do some reading work this holiday but I will be honest I haven't felt up to it. Never mind.

Spent some great times with friends, as always....that's why they are your friends innit!

Next year I have already got a number of races booked. I won't bore you with what, I am sure some of them will be bloggable, having been blaggable, hopefully :)

I also will go to my sisters graduation, brilliant! I am sure Mr Buck didn't think 2 of this set would be graduates, though of course it is despite, rather than because of. I'm quite proud of that :-D I might even buy some new shoes that really hurt to wear on the day ........ What dyou reckon Sar? ;-D

Anyway parkrun today nearly didn't happen at all having intended to do 2. The cold this holiday has knocked me sideways (cos I'm an old bird apparently, thank you mate!) so I went to Valentines and once there realising I was so cold I couldn't take any warm layers off I decided to pace 30 minutes. Luckily Cristina decided to do it with me cos she had pace on her watch. I think we did a pretty good job (29.44) and spent the last k really encouraging people which was great fun, really rewarding. I think I would quite like to pace some more, I prefer it to tail running. Next I will do a sub 25, and when I'm confident on that go for a sub 23. It's a plan isn't it that would stop me going for it every time.

So, holiday over, back to work tomorrow. Good, I need some routine back I'm struggling to sleep at the right times :)

Oh, and 2014 will be a good year I know because 14 is a good number because it has a 4 in it.

Goodness!

Nearly a month since I blogged.

December is always busy and this one has been no exception.

The first weekend we travelled up to see the Courteeners at the Birmingham Academy. We stayed at the Radisson Blu because I got a deal and I love the building. It's big and shiny, why wouldn't I?

Anyway I don't think it was worth what I paid, but the view was great and now I've stayed there. Tick! The band and the venue were great. Not too far from the action but with enough space that I don't go all 'get me out of here!' Bonkers. Some woman decided that me and Mr H were great cos we were 'obviously having such a great time' erm.......wasn't sure what she was saying really......was she was suggesting it was nice to see at our age or something? Anyway, we did have a great time.

I had the next Monday off for birthday drinks with my lecturer friends. I think I had a good time. I'm sure someone else can tell me :-D so Tuesday, my actual birthday was very quiet :)

The next weekend was up to Derbyshire for a bootcamp fitness weekend. I'd seen an offer and Mr had paid for it for my birthday. I'd started with a sore throat on the weds so was a bit meh about it, but, once I got there there wasn't time to worry about that. I'm not really sure where I fitted in to the group in that most people were there to kick start a fitness regime and learn about nutrition. (Comments overheard include, 'you can eat as much sweet potato as you like cos there's no carbs in it' and 'but I thought you had to eat within 15 minutes of waking up or your metabolism won't work')

Yeah. I enjoyed all the classes we did, made myself happy by moving out of my shared room I the middle of the night and was quite happy when they cancelled the nutrition seminar :-D bonus came when I was able to get a lift off Mr H from Tamworth all the way home.

I limped through the next few days at work still struggling with sore throat really not training trying to fend it off before Xmas. I even took Friday off. Partly cos my Xmas work do had been on Thursday (red wine fest) and I was out seeing another band on Saturday night....which was ace but I was very tired.

Did park run Saturday in fancy dress, did ok 22.09 considering how I felt, got a bottle of fizz for my efforts. Flopped. Announced my intention to run on Sunday. Was strongly advised against it. Gave up. Flopped.

Monday was shopping for last minute pressies before heading up north on Xmas eve. We got off early and arrived by 11. Then off into Selby with Sarah and Ella to see Adam and Aaron. We went to a wether spoons for a good catchup and exchange of presents.

Then we headed off to a hotel for the night. This one was a third of the price of Birmingham but 3 times as nice! We sat down for a while and then went to meet the family at Frankie and Benny's for Xmas eve meal. Which was lovely. Bit of a to do with the bill but we got it sorted. Back to the hotel for a nightcap, and to feel myself filling up with snot. Nice!

Got up early Xmas day for brekkie before parkrun. We were first to the dining room! Then off to the racecourse. I will admit now that I was regretting my decision to run. I felt awful and the fact that there were no toilets made me cry.....I was advised I didn't have to run, but I did have to, the whole reason for this hotel was so I could! So I went for a warm up leavin Mr at what I thought was the start. No it wasn't it was the finish, which resulted in a mad dash across the grass to give home my warm stuff before racin to the start just in time.

Start was congested and slow, but just as well cos it was bit icy, but I started to gain places fairly early. However I felt I didn't want any ladies to pass me, and they didn't. I couldn't actually see any in front of me after a k either, and I wanted to ask Mr when I passed him at the finish at 2k but I was struggling to breathe and couldn't. Anyway there was one and she finished in 19 something. I finished in 22.03 42nd and second lady, 141 runners in all. I wasn't unhappy with that.

Then back to family for presents and dinner which was nice. I also got to see a 1d film. Lucky me! Mr H left about 3 to go to his mums for the night and I watched Tangled, about Rapunzel ...... I thought rumplestiltskin was in that but no I'm confusing my fairy tales, and then despicable me 2 with 3d specs on.

Go on, tell me I don't know how to live.

Then it was Dr Who, no, not a clue really. A 15 minute attention span doesn't work for that. Then drinking and chatting til midnight :)

I helpfully coughed my way through the night so everyone knew I was there :-/

Boxing Day was walk the dog with Ella day. Pug is a chi wa wa, which is exactly how it should be spelt and blimey for a little thing he can't half run! As soon as he feels you start to speed up, he looks back at you, grins, and then takes off. I was Knackered when I got back and my chest was sore so I went to bad for a while :) in the early evening mr got back and I was really pleased to see him. Early to bed though cos I was full of cold and grumpy. Mr had top bunk cos I needed my water and cough medicine next to me.dunno why though they didn't help I kept the poor sod awake for ages. Eventually I took the duvet downstairs so I could sit up a bit, but after an hour of listening to the storm wondering what was going to smash through the bay window I went back to bed.

Friday was coming home day. For everyone judging by the traffic. Less said about that journey the better.  

I have been either in bed or on the sofa since.

So much for 2 weeks of good training eh? 

It doesn't really matter, I've seen my family, that's what counts. I hope I can do NYD park run, but if I can't , I can't.

We get old all at once,

And it comes like a punch,

In the gut, in the back, in the face.

When it seems someone's lied,

And our parents have died,

So we hold on to each other in their place,

And I feel the water rising around us..... But maybe that's ok.

More lyrics. I like them. You do turn around and think, fuck! How did I get this old, and so quick? I have now lived for 14 years longer than my mum, and 4 years longer than my dad. Scary huh.

Still, I won't be visiting them in their care homes will I. Glass half full and all that :-D

I have decided recently to concentrate on training and worry about races less. I have learned something you see from nearly being 44. If it's making you unhappy, stop it! A simple thing but actually pretty hard to do.....

So I'm doing the sessions that Russ gives me, and now feeding back. Because I know me, I can make you think I'm doing perfectly fine whilst actually floundering. The numbers though, can't lie.

 

That said, I'm enjoying striving to get them and seem to be doing better for that. I did do the Serpie 5k on Friday. I booked in months ago as a mates girlfriend wanted to do a 5k near work. As it turns out she seems to have lost interest and then I had a meeting plonked right in the middle of it so I forgot about it. Then the meeting was cancelled on weds and I thought, well why not!

I last did this race (the only other occasion) in 2004 and got 23 something which was my 5k PB for years. So I hopped on the tube to Hyde park corner and then walked into a Hyde park that was very different from usual as the Winter Wonderland had started. Was actually really nice walking through that but a real juxtaposition when you come out the other side and see loads of skinny racing snakes warming up!

I would say if I was a nervous newbie I might not want to do this race. Looking around at the people there are loads of club vests and skinny frames. I was struck by the amount of über fit older women. I mean older than me but racing in their pants! Blimey!

Still, I had nothing to prove and I have stood at more start lines than I care to remember so I wasn't phased. What did I want? Well sub 22 I guess.

We started, and well, there were 275 runners, it was not easy to get position, and as I like to start quick but couldn't get to the front I realise I lost time here. But no matter, this was a bit of fun and at about a k in I found I was in enough space for me and was enjoying myself. It was 2 laps and at around halfway one of them old guys that is a fixture at established races told me 'you're doing well lass, you're in the top 20 girls' which made me smile and yeah gave me a boost.

I think I was most pleased with my finish as I know I pushed hard here and my final time was 22.02. Not sub 22 but I wasn't too disappointed, and the beauty is I know I will go back. This was a different course from normal because of the winter wonderland thing and they usually have 2 starts, one for sub 22 and then everyone else 2 minutes later. I need to decide which one to put myself in.......will I do better chasing the front group, or being a front runner in the second,,....not sure. I will give it some thought.

Anyway, did parkrun yesterday and did 21.51. An ok outing I think.

Today I did a set training session and exceeded targets, so I'm happy with that. Mr came and walked round the park as I ran, which was nice :) I'm hoping he will do York parkrun on Christmas Day so trying to get him out there.

Work, hmmmm, we all know I do love my job but it has been a bit trying lately. Not the research, but the rest of it. Trying to prevent people from trying to define our jobs (we are a team of 2) in terms of what they want rather than what they actually are. Anyway it will get sorted but there will be some stress on the way I'm guessing :-/

I think that's it for now. I need a cup of tea :-D

I imagine you are home,

In your room, all alone,

You open your eyes into mine,

And everything feels better.

Cos I hate it when people quote lyrics ;-D right.

I am trying to remember what I've been up to.

*thinks really! really hard*

Hmmm. Oh yeah.

I don't think I did much last weekend. Oh well parkrunned. Wanted to see where I was. 21.55. That's ok, was sub 22, I need to remember that this time last year I couldn't do that with any regularity at all. Then body balance. I'm getting worse at it. I'm not sure how that works, but hey ho.

(As an aside, I'm listening to Beady Eye as I type. Love it!)

Sunday I meant to do an amazing athletic feat or other, as I am of course famous for and so of course I spent the day mooching about the house being useless. I did pack for my course away. A whole week of Proteomics and bioinformatics at the Wellcome Trust in Cambridge. I packed my running gear.

I got there at about 10.30 am. At 11 we were ushered into our classroom for the week. We finished in there at 7 for a poster session outside it where we all introduced ourselves to each other and talked about what we do. At 8 that finished and we went to dinner. After that we checked into our rooms and I was I bed by 9!

I woke at 6 next morning and it was dark. I hadn't seen anything of where we were staying as it was pitch black when I went tomy room so I made a decision then and there. No running all week.

That was a good plan. Lectures started at 8.30 and the earliest finish was 7.30. 

It was good of course, but so intense. There were people from all over.....Australia, Hong Kong, Brazil. Lots of European countries. About 40 in all. Some I never spoke to, a number I spoke to a lot. Some didn't seem to speak all week. I always mean to do that. Never happens :-D

Anyway, despite the lack of running I was really tired when Mr H picked me up on Friday afternoon. We went to a hotel in Tonbridge and I flaked out for a while before we went to Claire and Andrews wedding reception. Which was lovely.

Saw people I hadn't seen for ages, talked a bit of rubbish, you know, the usual. Collapsed into bed after so tired!

Proper brekkie in the morning then off home. Chucked my gear in, got ready for Survival of the a fittest. I will be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it, I was tired and shaky. But, I knew it would be ok once I started. Took a hundred trains to get there, but we finally did and I wandered about a bit, saw the wall at the end. 8ft. Fuck!

Soon enough Cristina my friend text me to say she had finished and we found her. She was on an endorphin high and had loved it. This cheered me and I went off to get warmed up in one of those aerobic style wave start things that are popular in the big events. I will admit when the fun went I was all RARRRRR!

First thing was 10m from the start. Hay bales that you had to get up onto and over. Bizarrely this was really hard on the quads! And the already bruised knees.....ouch!

However once I got over them I got into a fairly good rythym and the running bits I felt good. I can't now remember all the obstacles but I will try to list some

Walls to get over, tyres to run through, car to get through, lorry to run through, skips to get in and through and out of, run round running track carrying cone, run round track doing steeplechase, lots of slippery ramps to run up and then grab top before you fell back down, monkey bars, parallel bars, endless clambering up ramps along boards down ramps and reapeat (lots) large pool of water to run through, inflatables to force your way through, carry beer barrel through beer tent, and the worst, the very last obstacle, the 8ft wall. Obv I needed a leg up, but the worst bit is dropping down the other side....hideous!

But I did it. In 1 hour 4 minutes something. Felt amazing when I finished :) managed to inhale a curry when I got home and fell into bed :)

Fall out? Bruises from knees down on both legs, massive bruise on left thigh, and most strangely a huge bruise on my wrist where I had a paper wrist band that was a little too tight.

Nope, it wasn't handcuffs. Seriously I was so tired no restraint was required :-D

Anyway, up fairly early Sunday for xc at Gloucester Park. In short, it felt incredibly hard, my legs had little in them, but I was third lady scorer and as a team we won the match divisional prize. Nice :)

Got home from that and had to read to ensure I was ready for my talk the next day which had been cancelled a few weeks before. It went well, I felt happy. I enjoy public speaking when I've prepared properly and it's cool to be able to talk about your research.

So I felt that was a long long week. Which maybe why I only just finished the blog.

Everything that kills me.....

Makes me feel alive...

Well nearly kills me :)

Recovery from Tuesdays marathon hasn't been too bad. Proper aches on Wednesday, a really sore arch of foot......which I just think is an overuse injury.

It's my foot saying, 'you do know you're a fucking idiot don't you!'

So I laid off the exercise for the rest of the week. Work is  busy enough and obv I was tired too.

Friday night I didnt know whether I wanted to run parkrun or not, I certainly didnt want to run to Harrow Lodge, my foot was just too sore............ but then Barking PR tweeted me that tailrunner was available.

Sold!

So I tailran, it was ok, well I failed really as I left someone behind. I swear she didn't start the race with the others, she just seemed to come out of nowhere. Oh well!

Rest of the day usual stuff hair, shopping and the like. Wasn't feeling amazing so went to be early in prep for Sunday.

My third obstacle race of recent weeks. Lactic Fallout in Kelvedon Hatch, Essex.

Mr H took me as it was near and he was quite intrigued. I met up with a group of D88s who were all doing it too.

Possibly the worst thing about the whole race was waiting for the start in what was a stiff cold breeze. Me and Jen had decided to run together and pushed up to get off as quick as possible. Soon enough we were away. Across a field into the woods Jen a few steps in front of me. Down a steep hill and through a stream, then up again and into a field. Bit of a run then the first proper obstacle a really deep ditch I had to slide on by bum into, then wade through prop knee high water and then there were ropes on the other side so you could get up the bank.

50m after this was a wall which actually wasnt as bad as I feared, then these barriers that you had to climb over and get in before you could get out the other side.

I have no idea what was in the bottom of these but the smell made me retch :-/

Another run from there and what felt like millions of ditches. I think I lost Jen at one of these as she said she was sure I was behind her up til a ditch and then after it she looked behind her and I was gone. I think I know which one. I went to jump a ditch and land on my knees on the other side......on the soft mud. Well there was a rock disgusing itself as mud in there and I landed on it taking the brunt just under my knee.

I actually was unable to move for a few moments. A couple of people asked if I was ok but I couldnt really speak. Eventually I got up. I expected to see loads of blood, but there was only a little trickle. Better man up I thought! But I felt sick for a while after that. My bruise off photo shows it, all the bruising down that leg is from that fall I think.

Anyway, highlights I remember are, cargo net where you basiclly had to get facedown in soupy mud, a lake where you slid down into on plastic so fast you just submerged, then walking across the lake was a nightmare cos with each step you were either up to your knees or your neck.....

a load of plastic tunnels to go over or through, I watched people going over, sitting astride them gripping with their knees and went cold. Decided to go through, nearly went mental when I got halfway and couldnt seem to push myself any further....obv I eventually did but it was claustrophobic and not nice, not nice at all.

and all the ditches were filled with water all of them, it was constant sliding and climbing and never knowing when your next step would leave you completely underwater!

By 5 miles (there were markers) I was knackered, completely done. There were a couple of walls where I couldnt even reach up to pull myself up, so I went round. I needed to be done now.

Bit more running then into the woods for the last few obstacles, one I hated, an A frame where you grab a rope to walk up the practuically greased surface and then quickly grab the top and athletically flip yourself over.

Yeah right!I grabbed the rope, walked up the side, decided to try and sling one leg over the top, the other slipped and did the splits, then fell back the way I had come. I am sure it was quite elegant really but being on my own I decided I had tried it....and hurt my adductor, I would go round.

I really had hurt myself too, the rest of the race was finished holding my groin and honestly i dont normally go round like that.

The last obstacle was another crawl through a tunnel in the mud job, so that when you finished you were as mucky as possible. You then pass through a tent where they give you a cup of tea and a t shirt which you try to hold in your teeth because your hands are covered in mud and shit!

Mr H hosed me down after that so i could at least put some dry clothes on. We found Jenny who had finished 7 minutes before me (I have seen the results) and walked back up to take photos of the rest of the Daggers finishing, which they all did with smiles (mainly)

Anyway, I'm a bit achy today but my adductor doesnt seem bad so it was just a tweak, my foot is no more sore than it was. The bruising is a bit painful but that will clear.

I think I am ready for the next one!

Sometimes you actually have to stop faffing and do the bloody experiment....

Last Friday I noticed  that Foxy was running one of his Enigma Festivals this week. He was saying he had places left and was anyone interested.

Yeah right! I though, as if I want to do a marathon. Everyone knows I have pretty much given that up!

But all day, a voice kept nagging at me ‘you could do it you know…..’

‘but I haven’t trained’

‘and?’

‘and you need to train to do a sodding marathon’

‘not really, you just have to be prepared to hurt…..are you prepared or are you just a bit rubbish?’

‘ok then. Be rubbish’

‘I bloody hate you’

‘yeah I know, when you going to enter?’

 ‘I will give Foxy notice today and then if I have a decent run to and from parkrun tomorrow I will do it. Ok?’

‘yeah, I’m excited, don’t tell anyone it can be our secret’

‘twat!’

See what I bloody have to put up with.

So Saturday I ran to Harrow Lodge parkrun, did it and ran home. Total of about 11.5 miles and yeah I enjoyed it and felt good.

Fmailed Foxy, booked tickets. Told no one.

Saturday night we went out for anniversary dinner. To our local restaurant. Mr actually had to get up and go and have a look at the wines to help the waiter choose the right one. Then we he bought the bottle to our table it was a different one! However it was one we would have chosen had we known they had it :-D

Anyway I had a good drink because I knew I had said no to xc. That wasn’t because of the mara, it was because I needed to do some work and I wanted a lie in first. Am I lazy?

Anyway, had lie in which was nice, then Chris went off to football with his friends. I spent the next few hours talking to myself going through my talk. I was sick of it by the time he got home!, I was also watching BBC News 24, apparently we were due a massive storm and the world was going to end in the early hours of Monday morning.

Oh well, if that happened I wouldn’t be running, would I!

The world only partly ended really. The south couldn’t get to work so it was actually a global disaster, I wont say any more though cos people died and it was a proper weather thing. 

My talk was cancelled which was just as well as I got to work an hour after it would have started. Never mind, another time, I had other stuff to do.

I was a little concerned though as there was so much disruption on the trains I wondered if it would be ok by tomorrow? No way to know. I went to bed early as if I would be getting up at 5.30 am anyway.

Mr had gone by that time (see, I could go anywhere and pretend I went to work) and the trains appeared fine! Bingo!

Got on the 10 past 8 from Euston to Bangor. First stop MK. As fate would have it, the 2 blokes sitting next to me were also going to do the mara (I heard them talking about someone I knew and butted in!) so I got a taxi with them from the station.

When you think about it, it’s prob best I didn’t tell Mr H what I was doing, not sure he’d  be that impressed with me introducing myself to strange men on the train :-D

Arrived at venue with 30 minutes to spare. 2 ladies toilets for 5 ladies……bliss!

Does that sound like we all jumped in together and er…..well anyway it’s not supposed to.

Said hi and gave Foxy a hug, realised I knew only 2 other people here, Ruth and Travis. I really have been out of it a while. There was a time when I would know every one of the people at an Enigma race.

Still, this actually pleased me as I wanted to be anonymous. After all I wasn’t really there. (I do have an ICE tag on my keys in case I cark it whilst on a secret mission) 

No fuss and we are off at 9.30, 7 laps of about 3.75 miles each. This race doesn’t really start til you’ve done 5 laps. That’s what I told myself. Because it’s true.

I spent the first lap ensuring I knew where I was going. The route was marked by flour and tape, and the men in front of me :-D but on a mara like this it is so easy to end up alone that I really concentrated. So when I saw the zig zags for the first time I knew it was about 1.3 miles into the lap. I ran up them thinking that perhaps later I would allow myself a little walk there. For now though I felt good and it was a lovely course and the weather was fab, sunny and bright but not too warm. Most of the lap is pretty quiet walkers and dogwalkers excepted. The end 500m or so runs alongside the go ape thing the  gym and the hotel pub then the café so a bit more lively here. Passed the cp for the first lap, no thanks don’t need water or anything I’m fine.

The next 2 laps were fine too I felt good and smiled my way round. Had a gel at end of lap 2 as planned. Mild stomach discomfort after but that always happens. Lap 4 I suffered with my back low down and begged some ibuprofen gel off someone at the cp. Probably psychological but that did seem to help.

I had run all the zig zags so far and decided that on the last 2 laps I would walk them.

Lap 5 was a bit more mentally tough than the others because of my back at the start and because it contains mile 16 which is always my nemesis but actually I was ok. I kept thinking, after this one you only have 7.5 miles to run. Piece of piss!

Lap six had a bit of a bad moment in it. My foot went on the floor and it seriously felt like I had broken something in the arch. I slowed and by changing my gait a little I could get round it, but every now and then I would put it down wrong and die a bit:-D (it is still very sore )

But you do know, there was no way I was stopping now. No fucking way.

Gel at the end of lap 6 and I was on the glory one :-) the one where you say good bye to all the things you are now getting heartily sick of! And you know I never walked the zig zags. I did this marathon to make me happy and that actually meant running it all and doing the best I could (I even tapered for 2 days).

I hadn’t really been looking at my watch because I knew I was running to the best of my ability and also because I couldn’t work out how to see elapsed time on it ……………. I’m a cock sometimes ;) anyway when I finally did I realised I had been running for 3.41 and I had 2 miles to go.

LEG IT!!!!!!

As much as my now very tired and a bit broken body could I did. And finished in 3.56.47. First lady too, but there were only 5. I lapped 3 :-)

 

I was bloody ecstatic with that. I started not knowing if I could finish…….well yes I could have walked it but you know what I mean. I asked myself a question as if you have read my blogs before you will know I like doing and the answer this time was a big yes.

I CAN!

I did ring Mr H from the station and told him all about it. He was a bit bemused I think, but he’s had 25 years to get used to me he knows I will do things in my own way. Or have a strop.

That might be all for now.

I can't explain but I wanna try...

There's this image of you and I and it goes dancing by in the morning, and in the night time...

I like that. 22 years eh. I remember having a heart to heart with one of my best friends when I was properly messed up and predicting we wouldn't last 5. Getting to 9 was a challenge. Then I think I grew up. Fucking finally!

Well, grew up is a relative term. What I really mean is stopped trying to destroy everything I had cos I didn't think I deserved it. But that comes with age doesn't it. An acceptance of who you are, a learning to live with yourself. It's not always that easy! 

I know who I am now. I know I won't change. I can live with that.

Aaaaannnnnnyyyywwaaayyyy.......

Training wise last week was pretty shit, well, I didn't do any, that's shit isn't it! I just wasn't well, whatever got me at the weekend wiped me out. I limped through work doing only what I had to. Turned out what I thought it was, it wasn't, so I'm actually still going to GP later. Purely to rule some stuff out. That's wise I think. (Well someone at work had a bit of a go at me and made me)

That's fine though, I'm working at home today got a talk to do next Monday and I need to read some paper for a course. I can do all that here.

I did do one thing last week though, on Saturday I travelled up to the Midlands to do the Reaper race. A 10k obstacle course. 

I was picked up from the airport train station by Mark and Lesley who were also doing it. I will admit that I was very apprehensive ....not the race that doesn't scare me, but whether my stomach was going to do what it did the week before. So when I got in the car I *may* have appeared a bit grumpy. I was!

Anyway, got to the place some conference centre place where I can imagine team building exercises happen with lots of corporates. When I worked in the bank these courses were basically drinking festivals. Because there was no way you could stand all the stupid shit they made you do without getting blitzed every night. Srsly.

Anyway, seemed like a nice friendly get up, but not all that busy really.....shame I think cos it was awesome, but let me tell you.....

Started in a field and ran towards a lake edge. The course is like fenced off so you have only one way to run. It goes in the water so you are running shin deep through it, which was ok but so cold it made my bones ache. Christ I though, I don't fancy getting in this.....

So the first real obstacle is wooden rafts across the water, 5 or 6 in a row with gaps in between. The idea being you jump off the dock onto the first one, then jump across to the next etc. this all occurs in twos as there is room for two on each raft. We are all queuing waiting for our go.

It was hilarious as you can imagine, though my personal favourite bit was Mark and his male partner leaping onto the first raft (I think) whilst the couple on front were still on it. Of course they all fall off in the water. Class!

Me and my raft partner made it to 3 I think before the gaps became too large. You then decided you are better off just accepting it and leaping in and climbing onto the raft :)

Then a run through the lake edge again up to the grass.

The next bit was fields running switchbacks up and down, with a couple of banks you have to help each other up. Then off into the woods. The woods were great, loads of mud and water, fence things to climb over and sometimes things to go under like logs or nets. I think the hardest obstacle was the one where you had hang on to the rope feet on steep slope wood thing and pull yourself up to top and over. The pulling/walking up bit was ok but then letting go to grasp the top was hard!  I slipped back down once but made it second time.

There was another like that but it had some step things which made it loads easier.

The last section was really mainly deep puddles with logs to go over and under, just to make sure you were as muddy and wet as could be for the end.....ace fun!

Well, we finished as a team, I think Lesley conquered some stuff and Mark was brilliant at making sure we all stayed together, and if there was a prize for best looking topless guy would have won it *

Managed to get a shower after which was good and then was dropped at station for my return journey. Got home exhausted but having had a really good day :)

Yesterday was body balance. I'm not sure if you can possibly be less flexible than I normally am. But I was.

Next week is xc.

* he was the only one.

Do you mind....

If I don't stand up?

My stomach is not doing standing right now. Thanks.

I meant to blog last Sunday. Don't know why I didn't, probably CBA, been a bit like that lately haven't I.

I did go to Southend last week. I stood on the startline and all I felt was dread. That's not right is it? I get excited by races, I don't dread them!

Anyway, gun went off, I started and immediately knew I wouldn't finish. It was that simple.

I knew we would pass a pub before 1k where Mr H was. I would see him, pull out, job done :-D

I didn't see him. So I kept going. 2k clicked by 4.15s. Good pace. But I didn't want to spend another 8k chasing that. I honestly can't explain it I just didn't. So just after that I did see him. He cheered and clapped and then looked really confused as I ran towards him, threw my cap on the floor sat on the pub chair, put my head on the table and cried. 

I am so glad I'm not married to me.

I sat there for a minute or so wondering what I was going to do. I had after all persuaded Mr H to drive me there, and it isn't that close. I felt like a proper heel.

Then I saw Ron, he is a v60 from my club who can still run a lot faster than me. He was obviously struggling and I remembered he has been having problems with his sciatic nerve. Bloody hell AJ, if he is going to finish then you bloody well can too. So I rejoined the race and ran it with him. Nice and relaxed chatting all the way. Turns out we helped each other, and sometimes that is what it is all about.

So I told Russ what a fuck up I had made and he suggested I run as I like all week and then talk to him at the weekend. Okdk, fair enough.

I basically ran twice, that was all I wanted to do and never made it to any track sessions, I felt tired and listless, and also this week was boss week at work, I need to make sure everything is in order.

Friday night I would normally go out for a couple of drinks with my mate, but I found myself leaving work early shouting him that I felt like crap and was going home. This was true though I couldn't tell you what was wrong.

Had an early night and having pulled out of going to Bushey cos I couldn't face it I decided to go with Mr H to Barking. One of the reasons was that I know he had been wondering what was wrong with me so I wanted to have a happy run for him (and me) I don't like making him worry about me, I've done far too much of that in the past :-/

So got there and noticed a fair few younger runners. Found out it was an away day from Harrow Lodge and they were from Havering Mayesbrook which is one of the better clubs round here, well in terms of quick runners. I pointed out 2 JW15-19 girls to Mr H and told him they would be first two ladies. That was fine with me. Pressure right off just run my own race.

I did, and I enjoyed it! 21.32 a time I was happy with, and I was right about the girls :) the first one broke the course record with an 18.56. Wow!

Anyway, stayed for coffee after whilst Mr H got a bit of training on the computer stuff, then home and change before he took me to body balance which I once again enjoyed.

Then home for a sleep. I wanted about 3 hours but I think I got an hour. Woken by a persistent headache, which wouldn't have mattered normally but I had agreed to run 10 miles in a marathon relay team and the race was in Southend and starting at midnight!

I blame twitter.

Never mind I was expected I had to go! Had a pasta meal at 8 o'clock then relaxed until 10 when Mr drove me to Upminster station where I would meet some strangers from the internet :-D not the first time he has driven me to meet strangers but it's not normally that late at night :)

And when I say drive me there, he actually got us lost, he said he was going the long way round which is actually manspeak for ' I haven't got a fucking clue where I am but I'm not going to admit that to you'

We made it eventually. I introduced myself and him to Andy and Emma and we set of for Havens Hospice in Southend (no I don't think it's the end for me yet, that's just where the race was)

This race is the Midnite marathon set up to raise funds for the hospice by Ian who seems like a very nice chap :) this was the first year and I think there had been some problems with publicity so there were not many there, but I'll tell you what, you couldn't ask to be looked after better. On arrival we signed in and got a t shirt and a goody bag of sweets and drinks. Someone made us a hot drink too! Awesome.

Chatted to people for a bit mainly Emma really as I didn't know anyone but that was fine. Got introduced to 2 other people in our team....Malcolm and Lee. I was doing the first 10, then Malcolm and Lee would do 6 each then Emma would do the last 4 as she is still recovering from surgery for appendicitis which all sounded a bit complicated and dramatic :-/

Few pictures before the off....

And away I and about 10 others were off. 

I had no idea of the route but I didn't need to. Bikers preceded and followed us. When ever there was a turn a cyclist would be there. Sorted!

First mile I was getting used to the poor light, though a head torch wasn't necessary, I found my pace and settled in. I had said I would be 90 minutes.

By mile 2 I knew something was amiss. I was running fine, there was nothing wrong with that. But I was feeling incredibly nauseous . I couldn't work out why. I decided that it was because I hadn't digested my main meal properly, after all I'm not used to running after it. Still I couldn't give up I was in a team.

By 5 miles my stomach was beginning to hurt, and I was thinking I needed the loo. Still feeling sick.

At about six a group of blokes including the organiser caught me up as I pondered the route (I had been told where to go but I can still do it wrong, oh yes!) I told him I really needed the loo. That's fine he said, at 7 miles the Marshall point was outside someone's front door. Ace.

Stopped there and was able to use the facilities. Brilliant I thought, I will be fine now.

But I wasn't. Within half a mile of leaving I was wondering where to throw up and or, well...let's not go there. I just had to keep running as I couldn't see anyone in front or behind me now. Still only about 2 to go. Head down get on with it. I thought maybe a late night pub, but the one I passed there were loads of people all shouting and milling about outside and I just couldn't face going in. Well I wasn't really dressed for it!i did get a few claps as I passed :-D

Eventually I came to a park, and yes! There was a sign on it saying Chalkwell Park, somewhere here was relay runner number 2. And he was, about 500m down the road. Along with a driver to take me back to base. Perfect!

When I got back I was immediately offered a bacon sandwich. I told you they were good.

I couldn't. Cup of tea though, that's ok. Sat and chatted to Emma for a while as she was still waiting til her turn to go. Was very pleasant but I was aware of my stomach becoming more and more painful. When she left I chatted to two Havens coordinaters, which was really interesting listening to the events they put on, some of which I have done. I had to excuse myself rather abruptly at one point though. And pretty much from then on til I left I was up and down like a flipping jack in the box as my stomach turned against me. One of our relay team had offered me a lift to Benfleet station for the first train at 5.55. The journey to barking would take an hour. I started to view this prospect with horror. I was already in the loo every 2 minutes and knew I was going to be sick at some point. I didn't really want to do it on the C2C train :-/

Luckily Emma and Andy were superstars and seeing how unwell I was becoming offered to drive me all the way home. I was sooooo grateful. Everyone was so nice.

I got in about 6am and then basically camped out in the loo, sweating shivering and being sick for a few hours.

I did wake Mr H at half 8 when I was having a lull so that he could at least have a wee :-D

Spent most of the rest of the day doubled up in bed waiting til I could keep some painkillers down. I did in the end, and got some sleep.....ahhhh thank god for that!

I stayed off work today cos I'm still in pain, but I have managed to eat some toast and some breaded fish.....that's grown up fish fingers (and tomato sauce, which is actually prescribed to me by my doctor, FACT) and so far it has all remained where it should be.

I'm not training this week. I need my body to feel better and I want to be fit for the Reaper on Saturday :)))

That wasn't graphic or owt was it? And you know I would very much recommend that race ( I wanted to say something else but I can't spell it, how strange!) and hope to go back next year and do the whole thing. I *might* be looking forward to long distance again.

Anyway, that's all.

Don't know if I should.....

Tell you what I found,

Has it gone for good?

Or is it coming back around?

I don't know. 

Well I've had a funny week. I didn't blog last week because I was fed up. The last Elvis race didn't go to plan. I could rehash it here but there is no point. I just didn't have it. End result was 22.04. Running over 22 on a flat course is not what I expect of myself. 

So started the week really flat, and didn't really improve mood wise. It goes like that doesn't it. Work was ok though. I appear to have managed to improve an assay dramatically, to the point where it may actually be useful :-D and also come to understand better some other work I'm doing, sometimes it does feel like an endless learning curve :-/ then again when the careers master at school asked what I wanted from a career when I was 13 I said ' I want a job where I will always be learning' I was a horrible little swot then. I told him I wanted to be a medical doctor. His answer was something along the lines of 'yeah right, I know where you come from' tosser!

Ooh I'm on teachers now, when I was 15 (different school, different life) Miss Todd brought a broadsheet into the English lesson. She announced to us that we probably wouldn't know what it was because our parents would all read the gutter press because we didn't come from class.

Patronising bitch! I decided to add her lesson to the list of ones I would bunk. I was delighted one day when she stopped me in the corridor to tell me that she was sorry I hadn't been in her lesson because she had read out my essay on Romeo and Juliet because it was so good. I was sucking a gob stopper at the time. ' oh, ' she said. 'You must have been at the dentist, that looks sore' I nodded.

Ha ha ha! She was fucking furious when she found out I was just skipping her class and banned me from them. Unfortunately I had to properly beg to be let back in, but English was one of those things you needed :-D so I took the hit. I can beg when I have to. I actually loved English Lit. Finding out what the words you were reading really meant was like a gift. Wow, Shakepeare said that!!! And some of it was really rude! *giggle* I preferred Dickens, and will never ever forget the bit where Bill Sykes killed Nancy. It also made me read Graham Green, we did The Human Factor and every now and again I decide to read another. I'm never disappointed.

Anyway yeah where was I. Training was light this week after the weekends strop. That's ok. I've felt pretty CBA, this too shall pass :)

Was supposed to go to the Elvis party last night. Went for a curry with Mr H instead which was good for me. I lasted half an hour at last years party, it's not actually that I am the worlds most unsociable cow, um, well, actually it is! Sorry and all that. Running is my hobby, I like going out too, but I rarely mix things :-D

Today I went to a body balance class. Loved it. It was bloody hard but I'm going to try to go regularly because lots of the moves were things that Russ has shown me and it's easier to do it in a class than on your own.

Southend 10k tomorrow. Not sure why. Got a lift from Mr H so if it all goes tits up he can deal with the crying. Fingers crossed eh?

If you ever......

Find yourself on the start line of an event wondering, what the fuck am I doing here......then have a look around for this guy....yeah the one in the photo. He will be there somewhere :-D

But I'm getting ahead of myself aren't I.

Last week was a pretty good one at work. Got a project going, I may have improved another and I'm getting pretty busy. All good.

Training was ok. I will admit to being quite tired having done a lot of races lately. But I'm not broken yet.

I had Friday off work to travel up to Birmingham, my annual pilgrimage to the JW Ultra. As much as I say I'm not doing the race again that's a lie :)

I stopped at a hotel near the race finish and arrived around 2. I then promptly fell asleep for 90 minutes :-D woke up and went for a little run really just to do some hill stuff cos I don't have any near me do I! I was only a little deflated when Lesley told me that the place I went to for hills is where she goes to avoid them. Haaaaaaaa .

I found myself some food and whiled away a few hours in the hotel bar just relaxing before going. Early to bed.

Next morning I was invited round to Lesley's for brekkie as the hotel didn't start serving early enough, which was ace. Was able to have PB on toast which is my preferred race breakfast.

We got the coach at the sea cadets place and had a good old catch up with Cas on the way to Stratford where the race starts. Once there I met up with my relay team mates Matt and Jules and we sorted out numbers and toilets and all that. It didn't seem long at all till we were lining up to start. On the start line I met a twitter pal Iain, who was a first timer at the JW but I thought could win it.

I was first leg, just short of 10 miles and basically my race plan was, hammer it! So I started like I always do. Bat out of hell......you need to in this race because after not very long you are sent back on yourself into a field with a couple of gates and then into the woods with a couple of flights of steps. It's essential to get good position early or you will be held up at these obstacles.

I seemed to do ok here anyway and had plenty of space as we came out onto the canal. Crucially I knew that no women had overtaken me as my goals were A) first woman to cp1 where I would finish and B) a quicker time than last year.

There isn't much to say about the run as it is just along a canal! There isn't room for much support though there was one runners crew who were very encouraging clapping me wildly for being First Lady. I had to tell them I was just a relay runner so I should be! There was also a chap I desperately tried to get rid of for ages. He was huffing and blowing and shouting at himself which was most disconcerting. Every time I overtook he sped up, then flipping slowed down again. He was doing my head in! He was wearing earphones and at one point took one out to bellow an introduction at me. I nearly jumped in the canal :-/ anyway, he eventually couldn't keep up any more. Ha!!!!

When I came to the aqueduct I was happy cos I knew that was about 8.7. I ran with my hand in the water, and managed to make a tidal wave that soaked my left side...clever me huh? But it didn't matter I knew I was running well and soon enough saw the crowd on the bridge at cp1. And this year my second runner was there. YAY!!!!

Was told I had done 1.14 something, so that was B, and I was first woman there too. Mission accomplished!!!

I hung around there for a while with Jules who was our 3rd runner before setting off to cp2 to await Matts arrival.

There he is! He ran his heart out!

We had a drink at the pub at cp2 and then raced to the end to try and meet Jules as he finished. Sadly we failed, but he had a really cracking run, thanks Jules!

Then we had a lovely sit back at the sea cadets place and a chat to various folk before it was time to head back to the hotel for another relatively early night.

Next morning was picked up nice and early to head to the W midlands waterski centre for a 5k Spartan sprint race. Yeah you're right that fella had a lot to do with it. However when he first suggested it on twitter I thought, that chap ensured that I got through the. 10 in 10 in one piece, who better to do an obstacle course with where mutual support might be the difference between finishing or not?

I was apprehensive though. I know I can run but rope climbing ain't my forte! So when we started I think we were both nervous, but probably just fear of the unknown as they really don't tell you what will be out on the course. The build up was cheesy but great, lots of shouting 'I am spartan!!!' And all that and a few burpees and stuff. Then we were off. A gentle jog, no need to push it. First obstacle, get over a fence. Ok.

Then it's a blur, we gad to carry loads of stuff up hills, ammo boxes, logs, Gerry cans. We had to pick up heavy weights and carry them then do press ups then carry them back. There was a massive tyre to drag that Mark had to help me with, I couldn't even move it! There were monkey bars.....which to my utter amazement I did without dropping off. There were fences to go under. There was a long walk carrying bricks and going under barbed wire and cargo nets. There was a massive cargo net to climb up and over, a rope to climb.....couldn't! Throwing a spear at hay bales, a fire to jump over and and well lots more.

It was fucking brilliant! We laughed so much it was unreal and pretended to do the burpees that were the forfeit if you couldn't do an obstacle.

It was brilliant to see Matt and Max there who came to watch and take some photos. I'm sure they both wanted to do it and I for one can't wait to do it again. Who's with me?

I do hope you like that photo Mark :-D

Getting the fun back...

Oh yes!

Sometimes it becomes a drudge doesn't it. Working, training, racing. Working training racing. Blah blah blah.

Some times you find yourself lined up at a start line and the result is too important.

That's fair enough if you are a professional athlete. Not if it's your hobby. And it's something I'm wary of. That 10k I did last weekend left me gutted. Luckily the tri I did on Sunday picked me up again. But training this week was rubbish. Circumstances left me feeling awful. Didn't even go to work on weds.

However this meant that I would feel good on Saturday for the PruHealth Tri. When the lottery opened for this event I couldn't sign up quick enough.....a chance to do a tri in Hyde Park the same weekend as the world champs? YES PLEASE!!!!!

When I didn't get in I was gutted :( I really wanted to do it, so impulsively signed up for a charity place, not something I'm keen on doing because I appreciate that my friends aren't made of money.

However I had to pay £100 to enter so it wasn't like I was going to ask anyone to pay for my entry and in the end I know that I have very supportive friends and Marie Curie Cancer Care is a worthy cause that people can identify with :)

So I was in.

Erm I forgot my point from earlier didn't I. What I wanted to say was that I booked a few weeks of tris to get out of the race race race grind. I'm no amazing triathlete but I love doing them. And this was the biggie.

I decided not to train on the bike at all cos that's cheating innit! I did swim in open water twice as extra special prep for the swim.

The thing I was most worried about was getting the bike into town.

Oh you say? Really? Why don't you ride your bike there? 

Don't be so fucking stupid. I'd die!!!

No I found out we could take the bike on the district line to Sloan square then walk a mile to Hyde park. Perfect. First we stopped at Barking Park to marshal  parkrun. New ladies course record 20.08.

Need to get my arse in gear!

Anyway on train. Really quiet. We have 20 stops. All very quiet so no problem with the bike...... For 18 stops. Then the whole bloody world gets on! I start to panic about getting off and start to melt down. But luckily people were really nice and moved out the way so I could get the bike off. Phew!

Then a nice walk down Sloan St looking in the posh shop windows. Bloody nice underwear shop there, all looked a bit kink to me :-D 

Into Hyde Park to find we are not too far from the action. Elite women have finished and open hasn't started yet so we are ok. Spot Fat Buddha in transition on our way round and he points me the right way to check my bike in and make transition ready.

Gosh there are loads of racks. Still doesn't take long. Then off for a cup of tea and quick spin round the expo where I spot a lovely purple transition bag :)

Before I know it it's time to get into my wetsuit and go to the assembly point. Quick briefing and we are sent off onto the pontoon. The guy commentating keeps calling it the podium. Really gets on my tits for some reason!

I feel like a proper athlete as I walk along to my place, I've seen this on tv. We aren't allowed to dive in though. We are instructed to sit on the edge. Feet go in, fuck! That's cold. No time to think though, we are told to drop in keeping one hand on the pontoon and 10 seconds later the hooter goes. Blimey!

Swim wasn't too bad, the only problem I had was with a couple of breast strokers, it's very hard to swim next to them but they won't let you get away! Got one kick to the stomach but that was all and actually was quite pleased with how it went. Getting out was easy up the ramp, then a bit of a run to transition up on the grass. I managed to throw my goggles away but never mind.

Had a mild panic attack in transition as I couldn't find my bike. I knew my number started 19 but couldn't remember the rest. Ran around like a headless chicken for a bit then finally spotted my blue helmet. Phew! Fought my wettie off, shoes and helmet on and I was off for a fairly long run out, past FB who told me to get a move on :)

Off out off transition and o to lap one of 5. Luckily the ground wasn't that wet so you could give it a bit, there were some tight corners and a hairpin at the far end of the lap that scared me a bit first time :/

Coming to the end of the first lap I made a bit of an error.......there were signs saying keep left for laps keep right for transition but as I came up to them some fast guys were coming up behind me shouting at me things like INSIDE, LEFT, OUTSIDE, RIGHT.....and I was so fecking confused I ended up cycling towards transition.... I knew I was wrong so I just stopped. Some spectators leaning on the barrier told me everyone else was going the other way so I turned myself around and put myself right. As it happens it was quite confusing that bit with another hairpin coned off where for the next 2 times I actually had to put my foot down as I'm rubbish at them! Still I was ok now, I knew what I had to do and concentrated on trying to keep focused and enjoying the 'go pirate!' Shouts. Saw Mr H at his cheering point twice per lap which was nice. Met a forumites who tried to high five me on the bike but we missed :-D

Finally got to do the cycle back to transition thinking that I still felt fine :) got shouted in by FB and Petal which was nice and ran my bike all the way round transition to my rack.

Bike on rack helmet off, shoes on, visor on, number round, neck gel, gulp of water then away!

As you may have predicted I loved the run. I felt strong and the support was amazing. 4 laps of 2.5k. I concentrated on picking people off because tbh I was running faster than lots off them. Any places I gained were on the run. We had our names on our numbers and getting shouts of 'go Amanda' was brilliant. The first time I passed Mr H he held up the bag I had been wanting that he had bought for me:) superstar! 

We passed the finish on each lap and the clock there was the actual time so I amused myself trying to think of how long it had been since I started and was I going to beat 2.50 which was about what I did at BRAT tri a year ago. I wasn't sure but I was bloody going to try. I ran hard but I had fun too high fiving the kids leaning through the barriers. One did make me smile as he had his sleeve pulled down over his hand. Wise child I thought!

Running towards the final turn onto the finish carpet was fabulous. Mr H was in the stands cheering me on and I felt like a superstar, whatever time I had done I had a fabulous day and got a really nice medal :)

These are my splits I won't be sure if you can see them til I publish this. So I will do it now!

You can't so I took it out! Here is a pic of me with my medal instead!

You can't always get what you want....

You probably get what you deserve though :)

This week has been a bit, hmmmm. Don't feel like I got anywhere at work really. Things cancelled, things not working. Hey ho, that's what my jobs like. If we all did science too well it would all be done by now wouldn't it. We would all live forever cos there wouldn't be any disease or ageing and then we would have to work out how we could all be virtual because there wouldn't be any room for any of us.

Ha that wouldn't happen we would have all killed each other long before then.

Sportingly things have been tick ticking over. Enjoyable track session Tuesday. Yes, I was a track warrior, rah!!!! Another run at supposed 10k pace (wasn't, maybe I should have taken more notice of that) a session with Russ that was really useful......need to work on stride length now, and a couple of swims.

Yesterday was a target 10k. The women's running 10k in Finsbury Park. I targeted this as a race away from club mates where I would do my own thing. I thought it would be a good course for a PB. I am actually not sure why that would be but I did. I was quite wrong.

It was one of those large events with an organised warm up and all. Baggage storage was hassle free and though there were not many toilets there were enough. Was quite proud of myself for getting there as I'd not been before :)

Did a 2k warm up before the start taking in a part of one of the laps. Oh dear I thought. This is a bit more upwards than I had hoped. 

Never mind, get your race head on AJ, you know you have one.

After warm up they called for anyone who wanted sub 45. Out of hundreds about 10 of us stepped up. Cripes! We went to the front right on the startline and Nell McAndre posed for piccies with us all standing around her :-D fame! They then called sub 50 and sub 60 and having lined up very quickly we were off.

After about 200m I was in front. Fuck me!!!!! Just the bike ahead. It was ace! I think it was about 1500m when I was passed by about 4. I wasn't too worried as I know I start fast. I purposely didn't look at my watch as it was ticking off the Ks, I was working as hard as I could and that's what matters. Over the next 3 or 4k some more passed but not many. I was ok but felt that I was running the inclines really badly and was getting a bit frustrated with myself. Still, all you can do is work as hard as you can.

I was ok really until the 45 minute pacer passed me just after 8k because then I knew I wasn't on target. She tried to encourage me on and believe me I was working at maximum but she gradually pulled away and I was resigned to getting as close to 45 as I could.

So final result, 45.17 8th overall 2nd in age group. I ran 44.33 2 weeks ago so you can see why I wasn't that impressed but in the big scheme of things I ran a decent race. If I'd have been running for placing I'd have been more happy.

Onwards.

Today was Dunmow sprint tri. Bit of fun really and boy was it!

Was able to start earlier than my time as it was quite relaxed. 400m pool swim. Felt fine, just try to keep smooth you know this isn't your best bit. Then out for a 300m run to t1. Saw loads of people in their trainers but it was fine really in bare feet. 

Out on bike no dramas for a lovely ride round the country lanes of great dunmow and surrounding areas. Was a bit hilly and I made good use of my gears but I kept it strong. A fellow tri sporter had warned me about a hill that would take me by suprise so it didn't :-D and I finished in 50 minutes feeling strong. 

Quick t2 and out on the run carefully chucking a cup of water at Mr H on the way :-D I LOVED the run, it was rolling like the bike but nothing too hard. What was hard was my timing chip digging into my ankle and a stone in my trainer! I wasn't stopping though, no way. I bounced through the run and was well surprised to come to the end so quickly. I feel sure it was short and was assured after it was just a tiny bit so. Well ok then 21.05 was very surprising but you can only run what they give you.

Very happy with how that went and really looking forward to using this last couple of weeks as training for next Saturdays tri in Hyde Park.

Bring it on!!!!!

Put a wetsuit on.....

Come on, come, on, grow your hair out long (c'mon, c'mon) (Madlot)

That's the Vaccines that is. Whenever I hear that album I am running round Lake Windermere again. Happy (painful) days :)

Anyway, there is a reason for that title. In a bit.

Work was good this week. My Swedish boss was visiting so meeting galore and a bloody excellent one with a prof who works on Huntingtons. Her passion and energy are amazing and it energises you too. Hopefully we will have a fruitful collaboration. And yeah, that is an awful disease, but actually very helpful in understanding neurodegeneration because it is caused by one single thing and if you have this single thing there is no getting away from it. Unlike many other diseases which seem to be caused by many different factors with no definites, making them very hard to predict, diagnose and treat. 

Anyhow, my training was decent. A hard 3k paced session, a swim and a bloody hard 10k session that I was really pleased to get over and done with even if it did take me til Saturday to work up the courage for it. Consequently I volunteered at parkrun. I'm going to do that much more now, just choosing when to test my 5k speed. I feel this is quite sensible. God I must be getting old.

After volunteering I travelled with Mr H to Millwall dock where the Great London Swim was happening. A whole day of people swimming a mile in the dock. And it was fab. The sun was shining everyone was happy/nervous/excited. 

I was a little apprehensive as it had been a year since I had done OW. But, the wetsuit went on (bonus) and I joined all the rest of the wave for acclimatisation. The commentator had been going on about the water being a balmy 19.5 degrees. Oh good I thought, nice and warm :)

Obviously I have no idea cos it was freezing! I huffed about for a bit trying to get my head in the water then a guy told me to put my head in and blow bubbles. That seemed to work and I got out feeling good. We did a mass warm up which must look great in wetsuits and pretty soon we all filed in over the timing mat and were off.

I honestly loved it right from the moment I started. Withing 100m I found some feet to follow, albeit they were a bit erratic but that was fine. I was looking at all the buildings around the dock in the sunshine and it was lovely :) I had my only problem when we got right to the end for the turn around a buoy and this guy was doing breast stroke but couldn't decide where to go. I stopped so he didn't go into me and he promptly kicked backwards right into my collarbone which shocked me momentarily. He did apologise so I didn't drown him.

After that, the turnaround and back against the dock wall. Apparently Mr H walked all the way down there shouting me on but because I breathe to the left I never saw him:-D

Got out in 37.03. Very happy with that. We then had a bus ride through canary wharf that was great :) someone pointed out to me that I see that when I do London but seriously I hate that bit. The crowds press in and I just want them all to go away. They should, it would be lovely to run through there without them :-)

So resting then til this morning when we travelled off to the first redricks lake tri. I went there in 2010 to do an aquathlon and had an awful time. I panicked in the swim and had no energy on the run and finished sooooo last you wouldn't believe it!

Today my main aim was to complete an OW tri that I was happy with before London in 2 weeks.

Swim 750m. Loved it! Wasn't fast but I wasn't last no panic, no leaky goggles, even the big fish that grinned and winked at me didn't phase me :) the 400m run to t1 was interesting.

Bike, loved this too.....was worried about some aspects, turning right into busy road and the dual carriageway but they were fine. I passed a few people too :)))))

Run, my thing yeah? Didn't feel that fast but reeled in everyone I saw and finished well.

Yeah, happy with that. Don't know time or place but tbh this wasn't about that it was for confidence and it gave me that in spades.

Come on London! I'm ready :)))))))

And she gave away the secrets of her past and said

I've lost control again.

She used to feel like that all the time. Now it's only occasional. Like a big hole inside that nothing fills. Got to keep on doing. Working, running, swimming gymming, thinking, sleeping. Drinking.

Dunno who she is :-)

Work has been good. Massive learning curve I'm still climbing up, hopefully can let go and slide down the other side soon. Got a meeting sorted that's bugged me for ages, and got on a course I really really want to do. Good.

Running? Um ok. Got my planned sessions done last week, plus swim and bootcamp.

Tail runned at parkrun for my 50th on Saturday. Didn't enjoy it really. The last woman really really didn't want me behind her but really didn't want to run either. I think if she hadn't been quite a nice older lady she might well have told me to fuck off :-D Still I did it and was quite cheerful about it.

Yesterday was a 10k that I entered knowing there would be virtually no one from my club there. Nothing personal I just like doing stuff on my own at times (let's be honest it's most of the time). Was advertised as flat but it wasn't! However it wasn't a bad course, but a little lonely because there were not that many in it. Lots of good runners though! I was 10th lady with 44.33. My second best time for the distance and I'm ok with it as it was May when I did 2 seconds less for my PB. I don't do many 10ks so good to know I haven't lost it. Still more to get out of myself I know that.

Today was BRRs club race and race 6 in the ELVIS series. 5k on the parkrun course.

We had just enough runners out for a team of men and ladies. I was there to be First Ladies scorer, no need to pretend is there. Felt ok after yesterday, calfs a bit stiff so wore calf guards.

Set off waaaaay too fast couldn't help it. First mile in 6.25. I'm not maintaining that at present and during mile 2 I knew it. I didn't feel bad I just sort of drifted off. Had to keep reminding myself I was racing! Still I finished in 21.32. An ok time I guess and not sure where in ladies field, 6th maybe 7th?

Hung around a bit chatting to people which was pleasant then came home to do home stuff. Been a bit out of sorts really. I know why. I don't need to tell anyone because in the morning when I get my head into all the work I have to do it won't matter anymore.

Simple really.

Next week, transport permitting its OW and a tri.