Quadzilla day 4 and coming to terms with things....

After having such an awful run on the previous day there was no way I wasnt going to finish this now.

The night before I had a nice meal with Mr H and a very early night as I was so dispirited. I decided whilst lying awake at 2.30 am that I would go for the early start to get it over quicker ;-D

So we got up early and strangely in the Furzton Hotel you can have brekkie from seven, so I had scrambled eggs and beans on toast and we set off.

It seemed most of the field had gone for early, I guess because most of us needed to get home and the psychological reason that if you did this you would surely never be alone on the course. So 8.30 am we start. Not as desperately cold as it had been but I could still feel it in my chest.

My aim when I set off was to find a bit of space. When I am in a not so good mood I find being crowded difficult so I know the first couple of miles were fairly quick in order to get out of the group. I then know that all the miles up to 10 were sub 10 minute, but I also knew that they were slowing every mile. Although I felt a lot better than the day before I was still tired and now had 2 painful feet.

Still, I knew I would do better than the day before and kept ticking off the miles, mentally crossing off all the milestones, and listening to the same playlist on my phone because I wasnt sure if I could change it whilst I had the nike+ GPS thing going. Bonus though I got to listen to my ice cream hill song about 6 times, and that always makes me smile :)))

Mr H was busy ticking off laps and helping out today but I know he was relieved to see me smiling when I passed the CP each time. Well as he knows me and long as we have been together, dealing with me when I am in the mood I had been in the day before is not something he enjoys :-/

Anyway long story short (have you ever said to someone when they are going on and on telling you a story....'yeah, but IS there a point to this?' to get them to hurry up? I have, apparently it's rude!)  I finished in 4.38 something, my quickest day of the 4.

Was I happy? Yes I was. I had finished a challenge smaller in miles than the 10 in 10, but to my mind bigger in terms of personal resilience and getting yourself to the start line. I also (and if you could look at my training diary you would agree) have been utterly rubbish at training........which leads me to......

I have pulled out of the hundred miler.

I reckon mentally I pulled out of it before xmas. Piriformis issues are a part of it. Getting my head round it is a huge part of it. I think I am tired of challenging myself. The last 3 years have all been about doing BIG things and to be honest I have stopped enjoying it. This is making any small niggles impossible to ignore and it impossible to convince my husband to support me in endeavours I don't believe in myself.

Tbh running longer is depressing me. I am slower, I hate being slower, I really fucking hate it, so I am going to do something about it. For the next few weeks I am going to arse about doing exactly what I please (spin, swim few 30 minute runs) then I am going to think about London and what I need to do to do a run that I am happy with.

Note, I. If I still feel as jaded I will go for a fun run and target something else for GFA.

In the meantime 100 miler binned, Enduroman half binned, Outlaw binned and prob good friday binned.

Hello parkrun :-D