It is not enough.....

MTo be dumbstruck, you must have the words in that head of yours...

Not always. That's why I'm quiet sometimes :)

Trying to think where I left off. Oh yeah, was a bit fed up last time I posted. But then if we all got on all the time this would be a boring place wouldn't it.

Did Weald xc the day after my last blog. Had a good one, got my best finish position yet :) which is how xc races must be judged. No point going on time. So yeah, good.

Then last week went to Pymmes parkrun. Really small run but very friendly. 3 flat laps which on paper should be fast, but I did 22.11. One stretch was definitely hard against the wind, maybe it was that cos you did it 3 times...dunno. But 1st lady and you can hate me for this if you like but I like being first :-P

I did have a hard PT session the night before, that may have impacted too.

Trained fairly well this week, swim, gym, bootcamp, intervals, and then did Gravesend floodlit 10k on Thursday night. Got the javelin train from st pancras - 23 minutes to gravesend....wow! Got picked up by club mates from station and then off to the cyclo track where the races are held. You can do 5 or 10k and when we. First arrived I thought, yeah 5k would be good! But we had already agreed we were doing 10k ......and tbh I want to run as many 10s as ican for speed endurance.

Admin could not have been simpler, handed over a tenner and my form, got a number pinned it on, ready to go :)

4 laps of 2.5k, it is floodlit but at the two extreme ends of the track it is pitch black, with little lights on sticks so you know where the path is. The course is undulating with one short hill and one longer but less steep hill.

Set off quick like always. Passed what I thought were all the women after about 500m. Just after that a woman passed me, she was going too quick for me to hang on to so I concentrated on my race.

Barry a club mate passed me before too long but I wasn't suprised, he is on great form at the minute. I tried not to let him get too far ahead. I was enjoying the course, the first dark bit was really exhilarating as it was downhill and you just had to trust the track was there, the second dark bit I hung on to the bloke in front and assumed he wouldn't run into anything :-D. 1st lap ticked over and I felt good.

Shortly after that I passed a woman who had fooled me by looking just like a bloke. It's not on is it! It was much quieter on second lap as we stretched out and on this second dark bit I had no one to follow so ended up going really wide because I couldn't tell what was path and what wasn't. Still, 2 laps ticked off. They were giving out water at the lap but I was far too cold for that! Even running.

Now it was just fun as I was counting down. I aimed to keep lap 3 as steady as I could because then I could go for it on last lap. I'd need the times to be sure but I think I did.

Ended 45.33 and second lady. Myself Cristina and Faye also got First Ladies team which meant I got 2 bottles of Merlot. Bloody result! A very good evening all in all. Especially because when I left work I could easily have gone straight home. I'm going back next month :)

Today I did Valentines parkrun as it was its third birthday. I decided to jog round as it was so windy, right up until they said GO!! Then I just raced like I always do. Had a really nice run, 21.58, happy with that.

So a good week all in all. I made an assay work that I have been trying to sort for *gulp* a year! and I am enjoying racing. Life is good when I like to race, and tomorrow is xc again :)

I have written you down....

Now, you will live forever.......

That's right isn't it. Write something on the internet and it will never go away.

Is that a reason not to do it? I don't think so. We all have our thoughts, our opinions, they are just as valid as the next persons.

I will admit I cannot stand all the motivational shit that people post on Facebook and twitter, and if you know me you will know that, but......it's your right to do it if you want. If it helps you then good. I will scroll on. My motivation comes from...well it's my business isn't it. I do think ultimately we are on our own, and whilst it's nice to have someone cheer me on, I'm going to do it whether they do or not. For me.

Oooh, that makes me remember what I had my knickers in a twist about last week, or the week before.

I sponsored 2 people yesterday, one because I am willing her on to her first marathon and she gives an awful lot. The other, yeah it's his first marathon too, he got a place so isn't obliged to fundraise, but I'msponsoring   him because I am so impressed with the way he has consistently improved.

So those reasons. I will not sponsor because someone tells me they are doing something 'mad' or 'the toughest race ever' ...... Because I know. You're doing it because you want to. You. I've been there. I wanted to do the 10 in 10. Brathay trust seems like a worthy cause, but no more worthy than hundreds of other charities. I had to get 2250 to do it. I just about did. I hated every second of fundraising. 

I suppose if I had a cause that really really mattered to me it would be different, but it wouldn't change the fact that the event i chose would be something I really wanted to do. 

So try not to pretend the ONLY reason you are doing it is for the charity. I find that to be bollocks.

I do have more people to sponsor, I just can't afford it this month cos January was too long :-D

Should talk about running now, I've done a bit.

Highlights - 10k PB at Hyde Park, 5k 2014 best at Hyde Park yesterday 21.24. Hoping this is good as I don't run well this early in the year normally. XC at Parliament Hill was great fun. Hopefully xc tomorrow will be good too.

Got a running technique course at Mile End on Tuesday, looking forward to this and hoping the tube strike doesn't scupper me. Work shouldn't as I am on a stats and research methods course all week.

Got my appraisal a week Monday when I am going to ask if I have a job after November. Fingers crossed.

Anyway right, as a wise friend of mine once said. It's only running, can we all please just try to remember that :-D

This is your heart....

Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

Pumps through your veins,

Can you feel it, can you feel it?

I most certainly can thank you very much.

Back to work Thursday.....was ok, but it need to get my teeth into something, I will.

Back to training Friday, went to see Russ after work. 

Blimey.

Normally he shows me some strength or/and stability exercises and I have a go at them and take them away, so to speak. This week we did a full on core work out. Still having a residual cough I was sorta hoping we could just have a chat :-D

Started with step ups onto a step in running pose, holding leg up to show stability. Actually harder than it sounds. Balance requires you to engage your core. Something I don't do enough of. You also need your arms to be right. A serious difficulty for me.

Then pull ups pulling legs out straight in front of you. Or pushing legs? Dunno it ain't easy.

Then step ups with a jump similar to before.

Then pull ups bringing knees to chest.

Then stepping onto the step like the first time but this time with a harness on attached to a massive elastic band attached to the wall......how hard! The first few times I just fell off backwards. You have to step up then immediately engage your core as hard as you can. Then maintain the step up for a few seconds. I was dripping sweat here and losing concentration meant a repeat cos you just got pulled off backwards :-D (nope, I won't)

Then mountain climbers on a medicine ball. Nuff said.

I walked out shaking, but, actually having really enjoyed a proper session after a few weeks of being a bit pathetic. Yesterday I knew I had done a core workout. Today getting off the sofa is a problem :)))

Fucking love DOMS me.

Did parkrun Saturday, bloody awful run there in pissing rain, wasn't feeling the love. Ran 22.40, my worst time in forever, but I guess I'm still cold wheezy and not match fit. Still First Lady, you takes what you can get. Ran home, had hair cut shopped.....flaked out. Did 10 hours sleep last night. That's like marathon sleeping!

Today when I finally dragged myself out of bed Mr drove me to the mcdonalds at Hainault. He went in, I ran up to Hogg Hill and did 12 hill repeats. Ran back and had a coffee to drink in the car on the way home. Reward! Oh yeah and I said about the car that had a tyre blowout next to me. Blimey that shocked me. I wondered if I'd been shot!

Anyway, back training, going to visit my friends for a nice long run soon. YAY!!!!!

But if you close your eyes.....

Does it almost feel like, nothing changed at all?

And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like,

You've been here before....

Well yes it does doesn't it.

This year I'm going to be...

Thinner,

Faster,

Nicer,

Kinder,

A better wife,

A better sister,

A healthier eater,

Drink less,

Give more to charity,

Be better at my job,

Blah, blah, blah.

No I'm not! I'm going to be the same. 

I'm just being realistic :)

2013 was ok. PBd at most distances. I can't be sorry about my sporting achievements last year. I enjoyed the tris that I did and did some obstacle races too. Saw my husband do his first park run which was cool.

Work was in turns really good and a bit frustrating. I did intend to do some reading work this holiday but I will be honest I haven't felt up to it. Never mind.

Spent some great times with friends, as always....that's why they are your friends innit!

Next year I have already got a number of races booked. I won't bore you with what, I am sure some of them will be bloggable, having been blaggable, hopefully :)

I also will go to my sisters graduation, brilliant! I am sure Mr Buck didn't think 2 of this set would be graduates, though of course it is despite, rather than because of. I'm quite proud of that :-D I might even buy some new shoes that really hurt to wear on the day ........ What dyou reckon Sar? ;-D

Anyway parkrun today nearly didn't happen at all having intended to do 2. The cold this holiday has knocked me sideways (cos I'm an old bird apparently, thank you mate!) so I went to Valentines and once there realising I was so cold I couldn't take any warm layers off I decided to pace 30 minutes. Luckily Cristina decided to do it with me cos she had pace on her watch. I think we did a pretty good job (29.44) and spent the last k really encouraging people which was great fun, really rewarding. I think I would quite like to pace some more, I prefer it to tail running. Next I will do a sub 25, and when I'm confident on that go for a sub 23. It's a plan isn't it that would stop me going for it every time.

So, holiday over, back to work tomorrow. Good, I need some routine back I'm struggling to sleep at the right times :)

Oh, and 2014 will be a good year I know because 14 is a good number because it has a 4 in it.

Goodness!

Nearly a month since I blogged.

December is always busy and this one has been no exception.

The first weekend we travelled up to see the Courteeners at the Birmingham Academy. We stayed at the Radisson Blu because I got a deal and I love the building. It's big and shiny, why wouldn't I?

Anyway I don't think it was worth what I paid, but the view was great and now I've stayed there. Tick! The band and the venue were great. Not too far from the action but with enough space that I don't go all 'get me out of here!' Bonkers. Some woman decided that me and Mr H were great cos we were 'obviously having such a great time' erm.......wasn't sure what she was saying really......was she was suggesting it was nice to see at our age or something? Anyway, we did have a great time.

I had the next Monday off for birthday drinks with my lecturer friends. I think I had a good time. I'm sure someone else can tell me :-D so Tuesday, my actual birthday was very quiet :)

The next weekend was up to Derbyshire for a bootcamp fitness weekend. I'd seen an offer and Mr had paid for it for my birthday. I'd started with a sore throat on the weds so was a bit meh about it, but, once I got there there wasn't time to worry about that. I'm not really sure where I fitted in to the group in that most people were there to kick start a fitness regime and learn about nutrition. (Comments overheard include, 'you can eat as much sweet potato as you like cos there's no carbs in it' and 'but I thought you had to eat within 15 minutes of waking up or your metabolism won't work')

Yeah. I enjoyed all the classes we did, made myself happy by moving out of my shared room I the middle of the night and was quite happy when they cancelled the nutrition seminar :-D bonus came when I was able to get a lift off Mr H from Tamworth all the way home.

I limped through the next few days at work still struggling with sore throat really not training trying to fend it off before Xmas. I even took Friday off. Partly cos my Xmas work do had been on Thursday (red wine fest) and I was out seeing another band on Saturday night....which was ace but I was very tired.

Did park run Saturday in fancy dress, did ok 22.09 considering how I felt, got a bottle of fizz for my efforts. Flopped. Announced my intention to run on Sunday. Was strongly advised against it. Gave up. Flopped.

Monday was shopping for last minute pressies before heading up north on Xmas eve. We got off early and arrived by 11. Then off into Selby with Sarah and Ella to see Adam and Aaron. We went to a wether spoons for a good catchup and exchange of presents.

Then we headed off to a hotel for the night. This one was a third of the price of Birmingham but 3 times as nice! We sat down for a while and then went to meet the family at Frankie and Benny's for Xmas eve meal. Which was lovely. Bit of a to do with the bill but we got it sorted. Back to the hotel for a nightcap, and to feel myself filling up with snot. Nice!

Got up early Xmas day for brekkie before parkrun. We were first to the dining room! Then off to the racecourse. I will admit now that I was regretting my decision to run. I felt awful and the fact that there were no toilets made me cry.....I was advised I didn't have to run, but I did have to, the whole reason for this hotel was so I could! So I went for a warm up leavin Mr at what I thought was the start. No it wasn't it was the finish, which resulted in a mad dash across the grass to give home my warm stuff before racin to the start just in time.

Start was congested and slow, but just as well cos it was bit icy, but I started to gain places fairly early. However I felt I didn't want any ladies to pass me, and they didn't. I couldn't actually see any in front of me after a k either, and I wanted to ask Mr when I passed him at the finish at 2k but I was struggling to breathe and couldn't. Anyway there was one and she finished in 19 something. I finished in 22.03 42nd and second lady, 141 runners in all. I wasn't unhappy with that.

Then back to family for presents and dinner which was nice. I also got to see a 1d film. Lucky me! Mr H left about 3 to go to his mums for the night and I watched Tangled, about Rapunzel ...... I thought rumplestiltskin was in that but no I'm confusing my fairy tales, and then despicable me 2 with 3d specs on.

Go on, tell me I don't know how to live.

Then it was Dr Who, no, not a clue really. A 15 minute attention span doesn't work for that. Then drinking and chatting til midnight :)

I helpfully coughed my way through the night so everyone knew I was there :-/

Boxing Day was walk the dog with Ella day. Pug is a chi wa wa, which is exactly how it should be spelt and blimey for a little thing he can't half run! As soon as he feels you start to speed up, he looks back at you, grins, and then takes off. I was Knackered when I got back and my chest was sore so I went to bad for a while :) in the early evening mr got back and I was really pleased to see him. Early to bed though cos I was full of cold and grumpy. Mr had top bunk cos I needed my water and cough medicine next to me.dunno why though they didn't help I kept the poor sod awake for ages. Eventually I took the duvet downstairs so I could sit up a bit, but after an hour of listening to the storm wondering what was going to smash through the bay window I went back to bed.

Friday was coming home day. For everyone judging by the traffic. Less said about that journey the better.  

I have been either in bed or on the sofa since.

So much for 2 weeks of good training eh? 

It doesn't really matter, I've seen my family, that's what counts. I hope I can do NYD park run, but if I can't , I can't.

We get old all at once,

And it comes like a punch,

In the gut, in the back, in the face.

When it seems someone's lied,

And our parents have died,

So we hold on to each other in their place,

And I feel the water rising around us..... But maybe that's ok.

More lyrics. I like them. You do turn around and think, fuck! How did I get this old, and so quick? I have now lived for 14 years longer than my mum, and 4 years longer than my dad. Scary huh.

Still, I won't be visiting them in their care homes will I. Glass half full and all that :-D

I have decided recently to concentrate on training and worry about races less. I have learned something you see from nearly being 44. If it's making you unhappy, stop it! A simple thing but actually pretty hard to do.....

So I'm doing the sessions that Russ gives me, and now feeding back. Because I know me, I can make you think I'm doing perfectly fine whilst actually floundering. The numbers though, can't lie.

 

That said, I'm enjoying striving to get them and seem to be doing better for that. I did do the Serpie 5k on Friday. I booked in months ago as a mates girlfriend wanted to do a 5k near work. As it turns out she seems to have lost interest and then I had a meeting plonked right in the middle of it so I forgot about it. Then the meeting was cancelled on weds and I thought, well why not!

I last did this race (the only other occasion) in 2004 and got 23 something which was my 5k PB for years. So I hopped on the tube to Hyde park corner and then walked into a Hyde park that was very different from usual as the Winter Wonderland had started. Was actually really nice walking through that but a real juxtaposition when you come out the other side and see loads of skinny racing snakes warming up!

I would say if I was a nervous newbie I might not want to do this race. Looking around at the people there are loads of club vests and skinny frames. I was struck by the amount of über fit older women. I mean older than me but racing in their pants! Blimey!

Still, I had nothing to prove and I have stood at more start lines than I care to remember so I wasn't phased. What did I want? Well sub 22 I guess.

We started, and well, there were 275 runners, it was not easy to get position, and as I like to start quick but couldn't get to the front I realise I lost time here. But no matter, this was a bit of fun and at about a k in I found I was in enough space for me and was enjoying myself. It was 2 laps and at around halfway one of them old guys that is a fixture at established races told me 'you're doing well lass, you're in the top 20 girls' which made me smile and yeah gave me a boost.

I think I was most pleased with my finish as I know I pushed hard here and my final time was 22.02. Not sub 22 but I wasn't too disappointed, and the beauty is I know I will go back. This was a different course from normal because of the winter wonderland thing and they usually have 2 starts, one for sub 22 and then everyone else 2 minutes later. I need to decide which one to put myself in.......will I do better chasing the front group, or being a front runner in the second,,....not sure. I will give it some thought.

Anyway, did parkrun yesterday and did 21.51. An ok outing I think.

Today I did a set training session and exceeded targets, so I'm happy with that. Mr came and walked round the park as I ran, which was nice :) I'm hoping he will do York parkrun on Christmas Day so trying to get him out there.

Work, hmmmm, we all know I do love my job but it has been a bit trying lately. Not the research, but the rest of it. Trying to prevent people from trying to define our jobs (we are a team of 2) in terms of what they want rather than what they actually are. Anyway it will get sorted but there will be some stress on the way I'm guessing :-/

I think that's it for now. I need a cup of tea :-D

I imagine you are home,

In your room, all alone,

You open your eyes into mine,

And everything feels better.

Cos I hate it when people quote lyrics ;-D right.

I am trying to remember what I've been up to.

*thinks really! really hard*

Hmmm. Oh yeah.

I don't think I did much last weekend. Oh well parkrunned. Wanted to see where I was. 21.55. That's ok, was sub 22, I need to remember that this time last year I couldn't do that with any regularity at all. Then body balance. I'm getting worse at it. I'm not sure how that works, but hey ho.

(As an aside, I'm listening to Beady Eye as I type. Love it!)

Sunday I meant to do an amazing athletic feat or other, as I am of course famous for and so of course I spent the day mooching about the house being useless. I did pack for my course away. A whole week of Proteomics and bioinformatics at the Wellcome Trust in Cambridge. I packed my running gear.

I got there at about 10.30 am. At 11 we were ushered into our classroom for the week. We finished in there at 7 for a poster session outside it where we all introduced ourselves to each other and talked about what we do. At 8 that finished and we went to dinner. After that we checked into our rooms and I was I bed by 9!

I woke at 6 next morning and it was dark. I hadn't seen anything of where we were staying as it was pitch black when I went tomy room so I made a decision then and there. No running all week.

That was a good plan. Lectures started at 8.30 and the earliest finish was 7.30. 

It was good of course, but so intense. There were people from all over.....Australia, Hong Kong, Brazil. Lots of European countries. About 40 in all. Some I never spoke to, a number I spoke to a lot. Some didn't seem to speak all week. I always mean to do that. Never happens :-D

Anyway, despite the lack of running I was really tired when Mr H picked me up on Friday afternoon. We went to a hotel in Tonbridge and I flaked out for a while before we went to Claire and Andrews wedding reception. Which was lovely.

Saw people I hadn't seen for ages, talked a bit of rubbish, you know, the usual. Collapsed into bed after so tired!

Proper brekkie in the morning then off home. Chucked my gear in, got ready for Survival of the a fittest. I will be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it, I was tired and shaky. But, I knew it would be ok once I started. Took a hundred trains to get there, but we finally did and I wandered about a bit, saw the wall at the end. 8ft. Fuck!

Soon enough Cristina my friend text me to say she had finished and we found her. She was on an endorphin high and had loved it. This cheered me and I went off to get warmed up in one of those aerobic style wave start things that are popular in the big events. I will admit when the fun went I was all RARRRRR!

First thing was 10m from the start. Hay bales that you had to get up onto and over. Bizarrely this was really hard on the quads! And the already bruised knees.....ouch!

However once I got over them I got into a fairly good rythym and the running bits I felt good. I can't now remember all the obstacles but I will try to list some

Walls to get over, tyres to run through, car to get through, lorry to run through, skips to get in and through and out of, run round running track carrying cone, run round track doing steeplechase, lots of slippery ramps to run up and then grab top before you fell back down, monkey bars, parallel bars, endless clambering up ramps along boards down ramps and reapeat (lots) large pool of water to run through, inflatables to force your way through, carry beer barrel through beer tent, and the worst, the very last obstacle, the 8ft wall. Obv I needed a leg up, but the worst bit is dropping down the other side....hideous!

But I did it. In 1 hour 4 minutes something. Felt amazing when I finished :) managed to inhale a curry when I got home and fell into bed :)

Fall out? Bruises from knees down on both legs, massive bruise on left thigh, and most strangely a huge bruise on my wrist where I had a paper wrist band that was a little too tight.

Nope, it wasn't handcuffs. Seriously I was so tired no restraint was required :-D

Anyway, up fairly early Sunday for xc at Gloucester Park. In short, it felt incredibly hard, my legs had little in them, but I was third lady scorer and as a team we won the match divisional prize. Nice :)

Got home from that and had to read to ensure I was ready for my talk the next day which had been cancelled a few weeks before. It went well, I felt happy. I enjoy public speaking when I've prepared properly and it's cool to be able to talk about your research.

So I felt that was a long long week. Which maybe why I only just finished the blog.